Saturday, September 12, 2015

Chicken, Criswell, All Sorts of Good Stuff

I am so glad the weekend is here. Even though it was a short, four-day week because of the Labor Day holiday, it felt long.

Too many days of temps around 100 or so, too many too warm nights that kept me from sleep. I like between six-and-a-half and seven hours. Four doesn't do it for me and I don't think I got more than three hours straight at any given time this past week. The other four were split between trying to get comfortable and thinking "I have got to get some sleep" and just lying there in defeat while I waited to get drowsy. On hot nights it's a whole lot like doing the hokey-pokey all night long.

Put your left foot out, put your left foot in
Put your right arm out, put your right arm in
Turn it all about
Put the blanket on, put the blanket off
Put the sheet and blanket on, put the... You get the picture.

All while tossing and turning, adjusting the covers - too many, too few, they slipped, they fell.  Annoying. Even with the ceiling fan and the table fan running.

I got so desperate this week that I Googled the best way to cool a room with a table fan. Not sure I believe the result. "They" (Gary Larson's guys in the basement) say that you're supposed to point the fan out - so it draws the hot air from the room and vents it outside.

Tried that for two nights. Didn't feel any cooler. If it does make a difference, it's probably no more than one or two degrees, and I can feel that much cooler with the air drawn in from outside wafting over me. I dunno. All I do know is that it's affecting me.

I put the missing coffee canister lid (which was found, by my hubby, on the counter - where I would stake my life I had looked about eighty-eight dozen times the other morning), the fact that I nearly slept through my alarm yesterday, the fact that I forgot my chicken in the microwave yesterday morning, etc. down to sleep deprivation.

Well, I am looking forward to October and the cooler weather. No doubt, as we usually do, we'll get more warm days and nights between now and then, but with shorter days already starting, the cooler nights are worth waiting for.

Oh, and about that chicken. Just in case you're worried about my dietary habits (probably not, but oh well), I don't microwave chicken except to reheat it. I'm not into eating rubber - even though it probably would provide weight loss benefits from the chewing and attempts at digestion.

No, what happened was that we had those steaks on Monday night. I had some chicken defrosting that afternoon and hubby suggested that he toss it on the grill after cooking the steaks. Great idea! Nothing I like better than BBQ chicken, so we did.

Unfortunately, even though the grill was still hot, the chicken didn't cook all the way through. The outside looked perfect but when I got a piece to work for lunch on Tuesday, it was just about raw inside. Thank goodness for my penchant for using knives and forks! If I had bit into it I probably would have had an unfortunate consequence.

So, I cut, it "bled" (not really, but it was really red inside). To make that edible, I nuked the heck out of it and thought I would shoot him an e-mail: 'please take the chicken out of the fridge, I have to recook it'.

Didn't. Tired, lazy, sleep deprived, whatever the reason, I didn't do it. Or on Wednesday, or Thursday. Just carefully nuked the next piece of chicken each day - probably more than needed, but safe / sorry, etc.

Finally, yesterday morning, I got off my lazy drowsy sleep deprived backside and nuked the four pieces that are left for three minutes. Then I promptly forgot the casserole dish in the microwave.

I had thought I'd let the heat work all the way through while I set up the coffee for hubby, and then move it to the fridge. Didn't. I forgot about it, ran around, left for work and it sat there until hubby came downstairs an hour later. He discovered it and nuked it for another three minutes. Then he sent me an e-mail about it.

Well, one thing's for sure, that chicken's dead. And somebody's responsible.

And that, my friends, is an almost blatant plagiarism from Plan 9 from Outer Space by Ed Wood, Jr. - one of the stupidest and unintentionally funniest movies ever made.

If you want to see the original (and I highly recommend you do) - I promise your jaw will drop in disbelief if you pay close attention, listen to and think about what's said in these clips from the movie. It's five minutes long so grab a favorite beverage, your bestest buddy, and spend a few minutes. You (probably) won't be disappointed. Just be prepared for mind-bendingly stupid...

My friends....


Oh! And one other bit of trivia about that opener: Criswell did exist - he's not a made up dude from an over-fevered imagination. He was real and even wrote a book called 'Criswell Predicts' (long story for another time).

Have a lovely weekend!

Best~
Philippa

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