After yesterday’s post I’ve decided to keep going with this
exercise. At the very worst, I’m at least writing – which is what is important
to me. At best, I’m getting some reads and, perhaps, some interest.
It’s rather like walking on the dark side of the moon. There’s
no light, no detail. I can’t see where I’m going or where I’ve been – it’s a
blank because there’s no feedback. It's like being a bat in a soundproof chamber - I can't tell where the walls are, which is up and which is down. All of which is fine because I’ve worked through
it and have decided it’s the exercise that matters more than affirmation.
One thing that I have concluded is what has led me to my current
state of insecurity. I’ve just stretched myself too thin. Between commute and work
and family and the blog and Flash Fiction Friday (FFF) on Authonomy along with
trying to squeeze time from my day to write and edit, it’s just too much. That’s
part of my incipient ‘depression’ which led to my half-query / half-whine of
yesterday.
I bowed myself out of the FFF this week. I’ll spend time
with my coffee cup and computer tomorrow and read and vote, but for today,
except for this, I’m taking the day off. I stayed in bed until 9:00 – which is
unheard of for me. Even on weekends up usually up and at ‘em by 6:30 or 7:00 at the latest. I puttered around, got my coffee, had my breakfast and now it’s 10:30 and I’ve just started this. I’ll get this posted and then spend
my day playing Farm Heroes Saga, Bubble Witch 2 and Papa Pear Saga. Brain on
freeze and body on relax.
This afternoon we have a double-header between the Giants
and Rockies (Giants won last night!), and there’s hockey.
In the Stanley Cup hockey playoffs we’re rooting for Chicago
(Blackhawks) and New York (Rangers). Last night the Rangers won their game
against Tampa Bay, tonight the Blackhawks go up against the Anaheim Ducks – a really
strong team with a great offense. So, we’ll watch sports and I’ll just veg out. At least we have sports! Otherwise we would be stuck
watching the talking heads on Fox News (pronounced foksnooze – you know exactly
what they’re going to say on any given subject, before they say it).
Tomorrow, I’ll take it easy, too. The plan is to wait for
the internal well of imaginative thought to regenerate. I’m straining and am in something of a creative drought because I’ve over-done it.
In the meantime, I have a variety of things bubbling on the burner
in the back of my head.
There are thoughts for changes for both ‘Matters
of Friendship’ and for ‘Genevieve’s Piano’.
I also am debating changes to ‘Laurentina’s Lessons’
(formerly ‘Lothario & the New Girl’) but am resisting that because I am,
generally, very happy with it. It’s a
good story as it stands. The changes seem to be changes for change’s sake and it’s
my Muse who’s prodding. I just don’t know that they’re needed, so I’ll resist
until things settle down and I’m back in my normal Happy Place which looks
something like this:
So, now I'm going to have a lovely day and I hope you do, too!
Best~
Philippa
Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/PhilippaStories
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