Monday Meanderings

Five thirty in the morning and I haven't got a clue what I'm going to write.

Work today, obviously. Have to hit the shower in thirty minutes. Coffee is sitting here, down about a third and Sam is still asleep. Or at least he's not meowing at the door.

He's on his way out, I'm afraid. Eighteen years plus a few months is pretty good for a cat, so I won't fret too much when the day comes, but it's getting close, I can tell.

Lately, in the past month or so, he's started having trouble with his balance, falling over when he tries to get up after lying down, or stumbling when he walks. He never was graceful, the way people think of cats. He's always been just a tiny bit clumsy, running into things, etc.

All the signs of age are there.

He's lost his hearing in the past few months. He's gotten so finicky about his food he won't eat most of what I put down but I can't just opening can after can, hoping to find one he'll eat. Watering is together time since he won't drink out of his water bowl. It has a pump and a flow of water but he isn't interested. I keep it up - washed and filled - in his room at night in case he gets thirsty.

This morning, though, and tonight after I get home, and again before he goes to bed I'll stand at the bathroom basin and run a small stream of water into the palm of my hand. It's the surest way to get him to drink. If it's a good morning, I'll fill the bowl in which I catch the runoff more than once (yes, we save this, adding it to the drought buckets we keep in the bathtub).

It's hard, but it's part of life and he's a member of the family so I will do for him everything I can until it's obviously time. Perhaps another couple of months... I hope it's that long. Maybe longer but maybe not. We'll see. What I won't do is keep him going for me. If he's in pain, obvious pain, I will call the vet and not make him suffer because I can't bear to let go. That wouldn't be fair or right for him.

He's the last of my kitty-babies and he's my lap warmer so it's going to be hard, but we've had a great run together and he's still here, still hanging in (he's crying at the door, now - 'Mom! Mom, where are you? I'm hungry!')

There's so much else going on, I feel as if I'm flailing against a running tide. This will pass - it always does, but for the moment, just now, I feel a little overwhelmed with stuff. Family and work and writing and trying to balance and juggle it all so I feel fulfilled without going insane. Keeping up, keeping at it and managing, but once the tide turns slack again, I'll be happier.

I did get a lot done this weekend, so there's that. I made another batch of stir fry - without the chow mein. I made rice, instead. I also remembered the carrots and bamboo shoots, this time. The rice will be better for me - higher fiber. I used a whole grain wild and brown rice mix. Now, I won't have to scramble to figure out lunches this week. A side benefit of the mess I made is that the kitchen is clean. Really clean. Cleaner than I expected, actually, since I spilled oil on the floor in front of the stove...

I also spent some time editing one of my stories on Saturday, and am debating whether to serialize one of my books for this blog.

Thinking of it now, I could do 'Matters of Friendship'.

The chapters are fairly short. It's not 'distasteful' - no erotic or explicit anything. It's just a story about a recently divorced woman attracted to a married man. They're friends and...

Something to ponder since it would involve reading and editing each chapter before posting, but I'm doing that anyway as I get it ready for self-publishing (next year, probably). So, we'll see.

Whoops! Later than I should be so gotta run... Take care and have a lovely day!

Best~
Philippa

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