Yep, today is the first of the five training sessions I'll be putting on over the next two-and-a-half weeks and I'm a bit nervous. Not frightened, as in 'stage fright', just 'stage nervous'.
I've got the material down pat. The run-through with the director went well. There were a few hiccups, all minor. The biggest issue is that I tend to be overly repetitious. Which can, in training, be a good thing, but I tend to overdo it and become irritating. So, this morning, I need to go through it again to find and remove some of the repetition. I also need to add a couple of highlights, points to drive home that I missed. Other than that, I'm confident it will go well.
That's why I'm nervous, not frightened. These people aren't out to find fault. They're not coming to heckle me or throw stuff. They'll be there to hear what I have to say, so I just have to say it in a way that's interesting and engaging.
Of course, there's also the lying awake and second-guessing I just went through. Am I including too much? Do I really have to introduce this and this?
It's hard to know what's important and how much is too much. But, if I don't include enough, points will be missed. That took up a goodly portion of my night - lying awake and thinking.
Along with waiting for the damned hot flashes to pass. I can't wait for January. Open the window to a thirty-degree night and freeze. At least it takes the edge off the heat and, when I need to get up to use the bathroom, if I time it, I'm comfortable.
Today, to deal with the tired feeling, I'm counting on adrenaline. I'm sure that's going to kick in about two minutes before go-time because no matter how often I do it, it's daunting to stand in front of a group of people and talk. Even if you know them really well there are so many questions and doubts if you're going to stand at the head of the room and try to teach them something new.
It's one of the reasons I bob and fidget. I can't help it. I can't just stand still and not sway, heel to toe. I'm sure it's distracting for my audience and, if I could, I'd prefer to stand at the back of the room so their entire focus is on the screen, but I can't. So they'll watch me fidget.
More than that, though, are the questions.
Will they get it? Will they receive it well or badly? Will they, God forbid!, be bored? Will they object? Some here, may, because it's a change from what's been. They may well think that 'hey, it's worked for this long, why change it now?' Which is one of the points I'll try to make. We'll see how well that goes.
I'll know by about three o'clock this afternoon. There's some comfort. Start in eight hours, be done in nine and walk away.
Of course, that's just today. Then there's Thursday's group. That's the big one. Fifteen people have signed up for that. The good news there is that all of them but one will be joining by video conferencing. No rotten tomatoes or eggs.
In addition to the training, there's the questionnaire. It's brief but how will it be received? Will it be along the lines of 'this sucks' or 'this is stupid', or will I get some back that say 'good job'? It was my idea to put the survey together because I need to know if I'm doing this right so I can improve, but the responses will go to the director, first. It will be anonymous so no one has to worry or feel uncomfortable. I just hope I get mostly good responses.
After the next one, on Thursday, when I'm more comfortable with the information and presenting it, I'll find that quiet place to do the voice over version. By then I'll also know if I'm drifting off into the weeds when I don't need to and can refine what I present, if needed.
I did get a couple of points to address after the run-through on Friday's but when it was all over, I was told it was 'good'. Which is encouraging, because this person doesn't throw softballs. If it doesn't work, they'll say. If it doesn't meet expectations, they'll say. The fact that they said it's good - with the few minor changes suggested - tells me it's good.
One key factor is the person to whom I presented this is, I think, more knowledgeable about the material than many of the other people to whom I'll be presenting it. They don't need to be sold quite as much as some of the others might. Even though there were some points, things they questioned, they weren't such that I think I have a lot to fix. And, because I suspect the dichotomy between this person's knowledge and level of buy-in, and some of the others who will sit through this, I'll use my judgement and probably keep more than expected.
On top of this, there's the other project, the one that was supposed to be done Friday but for which I said 'I'll do my best'. Good thing I hedged. I got a lot done, about half of it, but that means I still have half to go. Which I hope to work on this morning.
Happy Monday! Wish me luck and I hope you have a lovely day.
Best~
Philippa
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