The Devil is in the Details

Late last week I posted six hundred words of the book I'm revising on an editing / critique thread over on Authonomy. That's always something of a nerve wracking experience. The 'will they like it' worry that nags. But, the input from other writers is invaluable. They know how hard writing well is, and they know, by and large, what works, what doesn't, and can find the nits that require picking.

Is it understandable? Is it clear? Does it read well? Is there repetition? Are there structural issues or is it dripping with adverbs and unneeded fillers?

As it happens, my post got neither panned nor shredded.

Three people looked at it, all asked valid questions and all made some good suggestions. Most are food for thought. Some I won't use because if I do, the writing becomes their 'voice' instead of mine. What's most comforting is that no one said anything substantially negative about it.

Other posts that I've seen there sometimes receive some pretty uncomfortable comments.

In the thread in which I posted, since I know it's not polished enough for the 'Faux Agents' thread, no one makes really harsh comments, but it can still sting and burn.

I can't speak for others, but when I post my writing for critique, it's like tossing my baby into the ring. I've worked on it, labored over it, picked the words, the phrasing and cadence. It is like developing a child - and it's part of me, so it can be scary to put it out there and ask for critique.

The thread in which I posted is the 'gentle' thread. The comments are expected, by the thread moderator, to be helpful and positive while still pointing out the flaws. I received nothing devastating, as can sometimes come from the other crit thread.

On the Faux Agents thread it is expected that what you're posting is what you're prepared to submit to an honest-to-goodness agent. The commenters on that thread are looking for finished, or nearly finished product - polished until you can just about see your reflection.

No one who posts there hits the mark squarely, but some get close. I haven't even though I've submitted different things, but I'm not discouraged because it has made me a better writer.

In both of those threads, the commenters are massively helpful, but can be tough. They can be demanding, because what they're looking for is good writing, the kind of writing that makes a reader sit up and take notice. Is it engaging, attention getting? The idea being that if you don't capture, hard and fast, the attention of an agent or editor in those first six hundred words, you're pretty much wasting your time.

Someone who picks your book up in a bookstore, off of Kindle or Amazon, might give you more time, but not necessarily. An agent, editor or publisher looking to make money from your book, is inundated by manuscripts. These days, because of self-publishing, it seems that everyone tries their hand. Publishers see dozens of MS's every day and most are no more than average or downright mediocre. If you expect to get noticed, what you present has got to stand out from everything else. So it has to be strong with a good hook.

Did you ever see the movie The Producers with Zero Mostell and Gene Wilder? It's a funny movie, but there's one scene where they're looking through scripts for the perfect dog. They want a play that will flop on its first night.

One line, two or three is all they would read before tossing it aside - and that is what a potential agent or publisher will do. If you do not capture their attention immediately, in the first few sentences, they'll toss your work aside without a second thought. So it has got to be hard edged, sharp and good for the genre for which you're writing.

In my case, no one asked 'where's the hook?' or said there wasn't one. That's great because finding the hook to quickly open a story can be hard. You know what your story is about, and you know that it's interesting and engaging, but if it doesn't capture your reader in the first paragraph or two, it will probably not get read.

None of them said anything negative at all. I got questions and comments about how this didn't work or that didn't seem right, but nothing that I consider bad. The downside is that it's made me re-write the open, again.

There was the detail of an earpiece. It's a little thing that the majority of people wouldn't think about if they read it. But it's a critical detail because it's wrong. I had to fix it.

As I worked on it, I realized that the setting I have - a stage in a television studio - wouldn't be a stage with a curtain. Nowadays, it would probably be either fixed or moveable walls. Easier to maintain, cheaper to clean, easier to replace if needed.

Little things like those can mess the story up for knowledgeable readers, so it's better to get even the tiny details right.

With this, though, I'm in about my seventh or eighth iteration of the opening, and changing even one little thing affects many other things. Whoever said 'the devil is in the details' had to be a writer, because it's so true.

Because of the comments I received, I've had to modify the first few paragraphs, adding detail and setting things up so that what I want to happen, happens, but in a more logical progression based on the minor change of removing the earpiece.

I had my MC standing backstage, behind a curtain. She hears her introduction and freezes. A stagehand helpfully shoves her forward, launching her so she stumbles into view of the camera. It's a little vignette I want to keep - the action, the tension, and the minor hum of humor and humanity. She catches herself and thinks, 'thank god I won't add 'falling down in front of a television camera' to my resume'.

Because she's not wearing an earpiece now, she wouldn't hear the introduction, so I have to have the stagehand give her the countdown, 'three... two... one...' Freeze. Launch. Recovery.

Someone else pointed out, rightfully, that the lenses on television studio cameras don't dilate to focus. They're fixed lenses. I had to remove that.

I was also told that it was unlikely, unless it was a panel discussion, that the first guest that's on this program would still be sitting there when she's introduced, and then leave. They would leave before her introduction.

I want to capture the man's anger with how his interview went. Before, I had him leaving with 'a look of ill-disguised relief'. Now, because he's leaving before my MC takes the stage, I have him looking angry, tugging at his collar and brushing past her.

Just little changes, minor details but they play an important part in setting up my story.


Naturally, the adding I've done means I'm back up around 119,000 words... Ah, well. C'est la vie, c'est la guerre.

I'm going to go off, now, and see what other damage I can do. Have a lovely day!

Best~
Philippa

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