Friday, June 5, 2015

My Head Hurts

I don't get it. I really don't, and I don't think it's because I'm unintelligent. I think it's because people have too much time on their hands and don't know what to do with it.

This was going to be about the Man Who Became Woman that's all over the news, but I'm not going to fall into the trap more than I already have by just mentioning it.  Leave it at:

I Do Not Care! Just shut up about it, okay?

So it's graduation season.  All over this great land kids are happily standing up, making their way to the stage and accepting their diplomas. It's a proud time, and in a day when school dropout rates are astronomical - 7,000 kids per day or 1.2 million kids per year - graduation is a very big deal - a tremendous accomplishment. Yet parents in some places are not allowed to publicly cheer their child's success.

At graduation ceremonies, if parents get overly excited and, god forbid!, enthusiastically cheer their child, they're liable to get arrested. It's happened several times already this year, and it is not just removal from the graduation venue. It is the full-blown handcuffs, ride downtown, booking, etc.

Over the top reaction? It is in my opinion. Just think: there's a great graduation present for a child. Particularly in Mississippi where it happened on Wednesday at a predominately black school - in which graduation is even more cause for celebration than most other places given the ratio of black to white dropouts in America (2:1).

I can see the school's point. There are hundreds of families present. The entire production lasts several hours between the procession of the teachers, the arrival and seating of the students, the droning by officials, etc. Then they get to calling the names, and there is a brief period when the child being honored crosses the stage to accept their diploma.

With hundreds of families, one after the other cheering and shouting, the parents of the child who comes next doesn't stand a chance of sharing that prideful moment of hearing their child's name announced to everyone present. And that's not fair. It just isn't because each and every child who is there that day deserves equal recognition.

Which means it comes down to courtesy and respect for others by the parents and siblings of the graduate. Two societal traits that are woefully lacking in any group in America these days.

Common courtesy - holding a door for someone who's arms are full - non-existent in most places. Saying 'excuse me' (for Americans only - don't use that in England) when you interrupt, push pass, bump into, or do something to interfere with someone else is non-existent. Moving out of someone's way when you're standing in it isn't done anymore. The little things that make living in society if not pleasurable at least bearable don't seem to exist.

For parents to be proud in the moment is understandable. For them wanting to jump to their feet and applaud when their son or daughter receives their diploma is understandable. Shouting and cheering, while understandable, cannot be acceptable because it interferes - directly - with the next person's acknowledgement of their child's accomplishment. Which is where the line falls.

On the one side is the natural inclination to loudly proclaim success! You made it and I'm proud! But that has got to be balanced by restraint and respect for others who feel the same for their son or daughter.

If the individual cannot control their inclination, restrain it to leaping to their feet and applauding wildly while not shouting, whistling, cheering, then it falls to the organizer. They have to consider everyone's comfort and desire to cheer. However, I do not see that it is acceptable for the host - the school or organizers of the event - to cause those families undue distress by arresting them. Escort them out, fine. Explain why and don't let them back in (they probably wouldn't want to go, anyway, since their reason for being there has already crossed the stage). But don't put them in handcuffs and haul them off to the pokey.

Unless, and perhaps this is the key, the jurisdiction is cash-strapped and this is a quick, easy and relatively safe way to collect lots of money. Those fines are not small - $500 and up - so there's a lot of money to be had if they arrest enough people.

Anyway, cynicism aside, there are so many measure that can be taken to avoid this.

For the schools: open the auditorium or gym a day or two before graduation day and have a twenty-minute pre-graduation rehearsal with the families - parents and siblings - without the walking around. Just spend twenty minutes laying out, for all to hear, what is acceptable, what is not, and why. People will respect that and, if they don't, if they break the rules, then by all means, escort them outside. As for those families who don't attend, the diploma is delivered by mail and the child will not participate in the public ceremony. Easy-peasy and no one's day is completely ruined by officious behavior.

I'm about 98% certain that if the parents are going to be arsed to go to graduation, they would sure as heck show up for a required meeting beforehand. To me, it's a no-brainer solution.

But if someone does get carried away and breaks the rules, for heaven's sake, don't handcuff them. Don't spoil that child's day like that. Use some commonsense and for God's sake, families - use some common courtesy.

I hope your graduation season is joyous and uneventful - have a lovely day!

Best~
Philippa

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