This week has been nuts.
There was Monday's excitement about which I started to write yesterday.
Then yesterday raced by before I could get my post posted. It was ten o'clock at night and it still wasn't quite done, so I went to bed instead of finishing it. Now, here I am, doing my Wednesday post as an effective adjunct to yesterday's post which I just posted this morning. As I say, nuts.
Yesterday was still twenty-four hours long, right? It didn't shrink and become less time did it?
No, I didn't think so.
I guess it's a compendium of guilt for having missed work on Monday - to the tune of four hours. Having the compulsion to make up for lost time, and feeling like everything is spinning out of control, even though it really isn't out of control.
The other thing that's driving me is that I really don't like using accrued time off for this kind of stuff, even though I know that's what it's there for. I prefer using it for when I feel I really need it. Like when I've been beaten into submission by the flu and can hardly move for being so sick. That's when I think time off should be used. Not otherwise. Except for vacation.
After losing four hours on Monday - plus the fact that I was just a tad distracted and paying more attention to worry than to work - and knowing I'm going to lose another two hours tomorrow for my follow-up with the retinal specialist, I'm trying to make up for lost time. But I think that's another exercise in pushing water uphill.
Well, no matter. It's how I am and what I do. I worry and feel guilty and want to make my employer "whole" for my time. Call me an overachiever or anything else you choose. It's who I am and what I do.
So this morning, tomorrow and Friday I'll try to get to work earlier than usual, and I'll work a little later than usual, and do my best to get as close to forty hours this week as I can manage. And then I'll back-fill the missing time from my account. No matter. That's less than miniscule in the overall scheme of things. What's important is that all is well in my little corner of the world.
And what I went through in the past week speaks directly to why I would never do Lasik eye surgery. I have one set of eyes. They are not replaceable. They are delicate enough that a clumsy move can make my world dark in an instant. Losing one means I'm halfway to losing everything, and that doesn't interest this ordinarily glass half full gal.
Anyway. This is actually good discipline for me - the getting up and getting to things. Not schlobbing around the house in my jammies. Staggering to the coffeemaker before doing anything else. Sitting down and writing before doing the grup stuff of making the bed and so on. That's my normal routine. This morning it took me a second after the alarm shattered sleep to remember what I'm doing, then I did it. So I'm on track. Dressed with coffee and doing this before anything else. Then I'll go upstairs in a sec, make the bed, take care of Sam and do my other things preparatory to leaving the house at 0'dark thirty.
Once I get to work I have a pile of stuff on my desk that I'm weeding through and cleaning up. And that's always a pleasure for me. Pile stuff up, work it down to manageable, repeat.
Looking at what I have and what's remaining, I'm winning the battle. Another couple of days and the nightmare I dove into three weeks ago will be back under control. It will still take ongoing maintenance, but I expect I'll actually have time to spare for other things. Like what I was supposed to be working on before this landslide came along and I got started digging it out.
Of course, month-end is coming, too, and that will result in another huge deluge of stuff in this area. But that's okay. At least the backlog is cleared up.
And I've had it confirmed again. The biggest, most important method for solving stuff like this is communication. Second, and just as important, is doing what you say you'll do. Third is explaining why you did it.
That Golden Rule again, don't you know. Treat others as you would like to be treated. Pick up the phone and talk to them. Send them an explanatory e-mail. Such simple stuff. Sometimes I just have to shake my head because my predecessor who was also my antecedent, didn't seem to have that ability. That means the people with whom I'm dealing in his stead are a bit distrustful and more demanding than I remember them being when I dealt with them before.
I don't blame them. Not at all. Once bit, twice shy isn't one of those old sayings for no good reason. Fortunately, I am known to them because I worked with them for months before this all came about and fell apart. They know me and they know, or at least I think they know, that I'll do my best - and that's helped oil the waters and bought some time.
I do have several who are still screaming loudly - but they'll settle down, too, and we'll get this all smoothed out. Which is what I'm looking forward to doing today. Getting in, getting to work and making it all better.
You know? That sounds like so much fun I'm going to end this, finish up around here and hit the road.
I hope you have a lovely, pleasurable day full of stuff you enjoy doing.
Best~
Philippa
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