Have you ever tried it, doing a voice over? If you haven't, I highly recommend it because it will give you a new insight, and a great deal of respect for all those millions of hours of cartoons and training videos and documentaries and commercials.
This is my first try at doing this and it is HARD. And I mean H A R D HARD. I have come to the conclusion that voice over actors do not get paid enough.
I'm working on a training slideshow for the company where I work. We're instituting a new process and I am 'it' - the herd dog responsible for guiding everyone who has never done this process in an organized fashion. It should be interesting, but first I have to break the news that I am 'it' and they're going to have to deal with me.
To get started, to introduce the what behind the why and the process, I put together a slideshow. It's no big deal - I like PowerPoint and I think I'm pretty good at it. After all, I created this in PowerPoint:
PowerPoint is a fun program and I use it for all sorts of things, not just slide shows.
Anyway, I got that done and ran through it with the director who's been made responsible for instituting document control and who's written a lot of the documents that fall into the arena. After a few suggestions and tweaks, a bit of additional clarity, the show is done.
But not everyone can come to our offices for the training, and not everyone will be available to attend on the dates and times set. To catch the stragglers, I've decided to do a show with a voice over. That way they can receive the training at their convenience and it will be there as a refresher if anyone needs it. Piece of cake, right?
I'll let you decide.
Full circle, then. Have you ever tried to do a voice over? I'll tell you my experience and maybe you'd like to try it, for fun or something.
Like just about everyone else, I think my voice sounds weird. I don't dislike it. I just don't like it. It sounds funny. Kind of flat and nasally. Not a lot nasally, just a bit, but enough that I notice it when I hear myself. That's a common reaction when people hear themselves. It's my voice, I'll get over it.
The other problem is that I tend to drone. You know, the monotone lazy voice that stays about as interesting as a Kansas wheat field. I don't want to drone when I do this, so I have to consciously add inflections and cadence. I have to pick and choose where I do the inflecting and cadencing so that I can make it interesting without being preachy or teachy, and highlight the things that need highlighting. It's a conscious effort as I work through it. Emphasis on 'you', introduction in a lower, calmer tone of 'I'. Question - rising inflection, answer - flat or lowering inflection, all so I don't bore the listeners and readers of this to death. That's not the point or the goal.
I start reading. 'Hello. Welcome to the...' Almost instantly my mouth gets dry. Or it fills with saliva because I'm nervous. I have to swallow.
Usually, because it's just the way life goes, it's right in the middle of a sentence. So on top of trying to make what I'm reading sound interesting, and on top of thinking don't screw up, don't screw up, I also have a problem in the mouth that's making the noises to which other people will listen.
I worry about the rustle of turning the page. Will it come across the microphone (which is not a high-end external microphone in a sound booth someplace. It's an internal microphone, embedded in the laptop I'm using).
Since I am self-conscious about doing this, I don't want to do my recording where someone might hear me. I decide to use the conference room. Which has the acoustics of a tin can. Concrete floor, porcelain and steel white boards, no carpet.
The room has a small refrigerator. Do you have any idea how many times the compressor on one of those things turns on and off in the course of an hour when it's warm? It's a lot. Particularly when it's summer. I'm in the middle of blah blah blah when the thing turns on, usually with a rattle of the glass bottles inside.
So I'm talking into a microphone in the bottom of a tin can and there's this rumble tinkle whir that starts up.
I try to ignore it. After all, it's over there, about twelve or so feet away.
Then the air conditioning comes on. The compressors for that are outside the back wall of the room. They're not quiet. The air is blowing through the vent across the room from where I'm sitting, blowing directly on me, so I'm suddenly freezing.
Tin can, whir-rumble-tinkle, whoosh of air from the ceiling duct and what I don't realize is that the internal microphone is also picking up the bass hum of the laptop cooling fan. Those are just the outside influences in this hit parade.
On top of all of that, I wrote a script. Do you think I can read the script I wrote? Heck no!
Blah blah blah blah fumble. Nuts
Blah blah screw up. Damn.
Blah blah blah blah rumble-tinkle-whir blah blah blah whoosh blah blah blah blah gargle. ARGGH!!!
After about four tries I got all the way through it. I even managed to make it through without more than a couple of minor fumbles and I've decided not to worry about the fridge or the A/C or the acoustics. I'll get it done and then play it back, just to see how it sounds.
It sounds awful.
There's the bass hum of the fan, like a line, across the entire thing.
There's a 'click' from the mouse every time I advance a slide.
I can hear the fridge. I can hear the A/C.
It does, indeed, sound as if I'm sitting in the bottom of a tin can.
It's a mess, distracting, and I know what will happen. People will hear the first noise and stop paying attention to the training while they wait for the next one.
Irritated by the FUBAR mess, I brilliantly decide, 'this isn't working. Maybe I can find a quiet place down the street.' Gather everything up, walk outside (where I thaw out after sitting in the blast from the A/C for three hours), and head down to the other building.
The acoustics are better. There's carpet. Maybe I can borrow an office and close the door. After consulting with a couple of co-workers, one of them suggests the cubby.
It's a small cozy space on the second floor. It's out of the way, so there's no foot traffic, no phones ringing. It should be ideal, right?
I set up the laptop, get out the script, suck up my nerves and get started.
"Hello. Welcome to the..." I'm about three minutes into this when slam.
DOH! This space I'm in is directly above the front door to the building. It is a steel door. It is heavy. It does not close quietly or slowly. It slams with a sharp metallic sound and sends a seismic rattle up the wall to where I'm sitting.
At a time like this, I almost think God is playing a joke. I know He probably isn't. He's got bigger fish to fry. Maybe He's out fishing for what He'll fry. It just feels like He's bored and I'm the one alleviating the boredom.
I throw up my hands in defeat (temporary) and check in with Procurement. Before I got started on this recording adventure, I asked our IT department if we had a microphone that could plug into a laptop. No, but we could order one.
I'm impatient, so I didn't want to wait two or three days for the thing to arrive, which is why I got started. It was a massive, frustrating FAIL (good practice, though, so not a total loss).
The microphone hadn't been ordered, but it was yesterday afternoon after I explained my saga and quest to the Procurement department in a general whine. They took pity and placed the order.
Now, when the microphone arrives, I will make some adjustments.
I will take up the carpeted conference room down the street with the doors closed.
I will change my mouse settings so that the roller will advance only one page at a time (no 'clicking').
I will put my laptop as far from the microphone as I can get it (no fan).
I will pray for a miracle that there will be no flubs, fumbles, gargles, or hiccups while I read the script. Dry mouth and saliva aside, if I can just not stumble across the words, I will be a happy girl.
Maybe then, just maybe, I can get this done, get it reasonably right and have another experience to tuck into my tool belt. Worst case scenario is that by the time I get through the recorded version, I will have the script down pat for when I do the live trainings in a couple of weeks.
So, that's why I don't think those voice over guys and gals get paid nearly enough. It is hard work!
In homage to the voice over geniuses, go watch a cartoon or documentary, and have a lovely day!
Best~
Philippa
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