Fall Is Here - At Last!

Golly gee whiz - we've had RAIN here the past couple of days. It's been so sporadic for so long (years) I had become cynical. Every time I heard some weather person say 'we're going to get rain' I would shrug, look away and mutter, 'yeah, and pigs will fly among a squadron of lead balloons soaring across interstellar space' or words to that effect. But we did and we have and it is SOOO nice!

On top of that, it's cold outside (for these parts, anyway). Frost on the roofs and a decided nip in the air again this morning. That, too, is wonderful. An exclamation mark on my very favorite time of the year, weather-wise. The time of year for sweaters and gloves and scarves, for looking forward to settling in someplace warm after being chilled.

The trees are glowing gold and yellow (we don't get a lot of red or scarlet around here, some, but not swathes of it like back East in New England). Leaves are carpeting the sidewalks. And roads. And the leaves on the road aren't so good because they're slippery (traction), but they'll go away soon.

In the meantime, I'm enjoying the cool weather, fall-blue skies (which are a different color entirely from any other time of year), and the bite in the air when I step outside. Just walking down the street is a pure pleasure. The chill in the shade offset by the warmth when you step into the sun - it's a marvelous dichotomy.

This morning I woke up before my alarm - a nice thing to do since it gives me a chance to just lie there and think, 'ahhh, I'm comfy' before Reality jabs me in the ribs with its sharp elbow. Because the window was open the room was cold, but the extra blankets made up the difference. It was lovely to be snuggled down under the covers and begin to plan my day.

We, I and several colleagues, are in the throes of planning our company's holiday party.

I should know better by now. I'm certainly old enough to know better by now. Never volunteer for anything. But I did and now, for better or worse, I'm on the committee.

Which is fine. I do enjoy doing stuff like this. It's organizational in nature, so it's right up my street and I know it's going to help make the party a success if it's planned and laid out for everyone. It's just that I'm on the fence about going to it myself.

I am NOT a social butterfly. Mingling in large groups is, for me, less pleasurable than a root canal performed by a quack without benefit of lidocaine or novocaine or any painkillers whatsoever.

Inevitably, I feel so awkward and out of place that I end up standing by the wall or in an inconspicuous corner wondering 'what the hell am I doing here?' Followed immediately by a glance at the wristwatch and internal query, 'I wonder if anyone will notice if I leave? Damn! I've only been here two minutes.'

If I do try to mingle (it's called 'force of will'), I'll sidle up to a group and stand there, feeling as if they're itching to close ranks and block me out, except they know it would be rude. Then, if I do interject something into the conversation, I inevitably feel as if I'm:

a) intruding
b) irritating everyone who was already there
c) making an observation that was already made thirty seconds before I joined and, thereby, looking stupid, or
d) all of the above.

Pretty much about as welcome as a turkey vulture at a picnic.

Can you tell I don't like parties and socializing? Small groups, intimate groups of people I know well and with whom I'm comfortable conversing, are fine - but since hubby is even more insular than I am, it's rare to find myself in an intimate setting among people with whom I feel completely at ease.

Now, with all of that said, one of the first things I want to do in my next stage of life is to have a celebration for my changed state. A manner of 'coming out party' where I can shed the vestiges of what has been and step out among a select group of close acquaintance and friends into a new place in my life.

Today, however, I shall look forward to taking a lovely drive along country roads on a beautiful autumn day through stands of trees changing their colors. That's the upside, the happy take-away from this situation. That and a free lunch since we're going to be sampling our options for dinner. Which I hope will be buffet style. There's no good way to serve a plated dinner for that many since the first people served will have cold meals by the time the last table is served, or the first table served will be sitting on their hands, looking around for dessert by the time the last plate is served.

Yeah. I'm sure it'll be a buffet. Which does have a certain appeal. Maybe I should go after all? Mm. I'll think about it.

I hope you have a lovely day!

Best~
Philippa

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