Yeah, I'm being naughty. Deviating from the norm after only four full days of NaNo. Most of it is me. A good part of it is a conversation I had this morning with someone about my blog and the track it's taken in the past few days.
I'll get back to my story, but right now, I'm burned out. I was anxious about the word count yesterday and put up about 3,000 words to hit the mark, now I have no energy and no interest.
There are another 25+ days so I'm not too worried and, as I said to a writer's group, there will be no tears cried, no sleep lost, no flogging, no remorse or regret if I don't hit the mark. The thing is a personal goal - not life changing - and I have it marked down as such.
So, here I am. Deviating from the plan. But that's what plans are for, right? And rules are there to be broken. Tomorrow I'll get back to it. Today, nah.
I got to bed later than usual last night, which was one problem. I was an hour later than usual because I spent half the evening writing, much to the irritation of hubby, so I didn't want to get up this morning. Instead, I lay in bed and played games on my iPad until I realized that I had to get going or miss out on the morning altogether.
So, I got up and got going with enough time to get out the door on time. Then MIL, who is still in recovery phase from Monday's misadventure (diagnosed as a TIA instead of a full-on stroke), was trying to get out of bed.
Since I am a hard and fast believer in "use it or lose it" I stood by, watching her struggle, but if she didn't do it herself this morning, she would count on me to do it every time. So, I stood there, watching to make sure she wasn't going to fall or hurt herself on the way to the bathroom, intending to wait until she was safely back in bed before leaving for the day. Fortunately, hubby got up. Watching her struggling with the walker, I bellowed up the stairs at him to make sure he knew she was up and moving. Once he acknowledged me by coming to the top of the stairs, I left them to it and came to work, a little later than planned, but not devastatingly so.
And, for the record, my attitude toward her situation came from past experience.
In 2012 she had a horrible month of February and a nearly deadly March - which left her weak and debilitated. First, it was a chest cold that became bronchitis which developed into pneumonia. Her kidneys failed and she was put on dialysis. For three weeks she was in the hospital then was discharged to a nursing home to recover.
Unfortunately, the staff at the nursing home was flat-out incompetent - and I say that with absolute 100% surety.
She arrived at two o'clock in the afternoon. By ten o'clock that night she was in severe insulin shock and was on her way back to the hospital because the staff overdosed her on insulin.
She had not been eating. My husband told the nurse that. She ignored him. She gave MIL a different type of insulin, that acts differently in the body. On top of that, their glucose meters - the two they used on MIL - were not properly calibrated. We know that for a fact because hubby took our meter with him when he went to check on her that night.
He had a nagging feeling all night that something was 'wrong', so I told him to go check on her or he wouldn't sleep. He did, taking our meter with him. When he tested her blood, because she was in obvious distress, her sugar level was down at 51/ml. It's supposed to be between 90/ml and 120/ml - that's normal.
When the nurse used one meter it showed 78 and the other showed 82 - and those were within minutes of hubby's use of ours. When the paramedics got to the nursing home, after hubby's frantic call because the staff refused, they tested her and her sugar was only at 57/ml - probably because hubby had already given her sugar water and it was hitting her blood.
So, that's why I say it was almost deadly, and why I say it's the nursing home's fault. Yes, we did file a complaint with the state, for all the good that did.
Anyway, so she was weak and debilitated from that - perfectly understandable. For weeks we nursed her and saw her getting stronger. But, after observing her for several weeks and seeing that she was strong enough to do for herself, when she whined at me one morning, "I can't get up, you have to help me" followed by "I don't think I'll ever get out of bed again", I lost it.
I told her, flat out: "You can lie there and feel sorry for yourself, or you can decide that you are going to get up. If you want to get better, I suggest you get started on it. We don't have a magic wand to wave to make you thirty years younger, and I have every confidence you're capable of getting up yourself, if you try." Then I walked away, back into the kitchen. From there I can see her bed, so I kept an eye on her and, sure enough, about a minute later she was sitting up and trying to get to her feet.
Tough love can be a helpful tool, and it worked in that case. Better still, she now knows there will be no pity party for her. If she needs it - as she did Monday - I will be all over it. If I think she's gaming me, nope. I won't play. I'll watch and be on hand to help, but I'm not going to do for her just because she asks.
I've also decided I need to get my life better organized. With NaNo taking over, I'm not as organized as I usually am, and it's bugging me. The house is fine, but other things aren't, so I need to get on it and get back on track. This too shall pass - it's just a question of when, but sooner rather than later will be good.
Now, with the deviant behavior explained and out of the way, I'm going to go do something else for a little while. Heck, maybe I'll even add a bit to my story.
Have a lovely day!
Best~
Philippa
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