What a Week!

This has been quite the week around here. It's not that I haven't had time to sit down and write, it's just that I haven't had a block of time, which is what this requires. Starting and stopping and starting and stopping makes it harder to keep the train of thought from derailing, and ideas kept popping in and out. It was a mess. Now, however, I have some time and will take advantage of it.

The new job responsibilities are settling in, but it's still huge. I have a boatload of stuff to work through, but with help and cooperation I'm at least not falling too much farther behind. I don't know that I'm gaining, either, but looking at what it was and what it is, I feel pretty good.

I got the paper mess sorted out (literally). Then I took the items that I had cleared out - about one-half a Banker's file storage box full - sorted out (literally), and have started sending these things off to the people who have to say 'yay' or 'nay' on clearing them out of the system. I've gotten most back, although there are a couple of batches still hanging. I'll send another reminder on Monday, and then pick up the phone.

The problem is, if I don't get responses to these, the pile will just keep getting bigger and it already is. I picked up two big batches on Thursday and Friday, and weaned through that. Low-hanging fruit is gone, so I have to start chipping away at the rock.

Along with this new stuff is the stuff that I was doing - I still have to keep on top of that, so it's a double-challenge because neither is hard but both are time consuming, which means I don't have as much time or energy for other things as I would like.

In politics, one of the best laughs I had this week was seeing Hilliary barking like a dog at one of her events. If she was Howard Dean, with the scream which sank his candidacy a few years ago, she'd be gone by now. But she's not. She's Hilliary - the Anointed One by the DNC and the donors. Although this is getting interesting what with the FBI investigation and some now saying she should step down while the investigation is underway. Yeah. That has a snowball's chance.

Whatever. So she's barking like a dog at a rally and someone picks up on that and does a musical remix, which is funnier than Hades - even if I liked Hilliary it would be funny.

'Who Let The Dogs Out' featuring Hilliary Clinton

Quite presidential, wasn't it? Imagine if that had been any of the GOP candidates - Donald Trump or Ted Cruz. The press would be on constant replay for days. But, no. Hilliary, as always, gets a pass. Nonetheless, it is funny.

And Obie-One, surprise, surprise, surprise, took a pass on Scalia's funeral. He couldn't be arsed to spend an hour or so looking appropriately glum so, to avoid trying to hide that disgusting smile of glee, I suspect he probably hit the golf course. Assuming it wasn't raining. Although, if it was raining in Washington DC, he probably ordered up Air Force One, damn the carbon footprint, and flew to somewhere where it isn't raining so he could put in a round or two before heading to Cuba next week.

Politics as usual, in other words.

In a completely different part of the world, I promised myself that I was going to take a walk on Tuesday. I had wanted to go out on Monday but other life things intervened. So I did walk on Tuesday and I did something I've wanted to do for a while. I took pictures - not photographic quality, just snaps - of some of the architecture in Calistoga.

The term 'eclectic' is somewhat overused in this day and age. Pick up any home decorating magazine and there it is. However, nothing describes the architecture of Calistoga like 'eclectic'. There are craftsman 'cottages', shotgun architecture, French Provincial, California Victorians and mixed up little places that don't really fit any particular style. I did go online to see if I could find any information about some of these buildings, particularly the older ones - 1888 and 1890 - but found nada. Still, they are beautiful.

Here's just a sample, and I apologize for not showing street scenes but even in February Calistoga is packed with tourists. If you want to see tourists, look at pictures of Disneyland. So I didn't take pictures of the tourists, just the bits and pieces of the buildings - the details of them - that interest me.

If you look through the branches in the picture above, you can see 1890 etched into the stone. The building looks like it might have been a bank, once upon a time.

The dark lines on the trim in the picture above are carved, not painted. If the sun were slightly lower, the light would shine through. From inside, I think it would be captivating to see the sunlight through those little embellishments. And across and down this street is this pretty little cottage with its gingerbread trim:

Along with all the other styles, there's this little Greek Orthodox church. It's not as grand as Saint Olga's in Santa Rosa, but it's humble and homey and cute.

And, just for fun, I took a picture of a little fur-baby (s/he and the family were out all over the place, but this is the only one who stopped long enough for me to get a portrait):

And, along the way, I saw these:

So that was my lovely Tuesday and then, Wednesday through yesterday, it was cold, blustery and rainy making Tuesday better than it was.

Wishing you a lovely weekend!

Best~
Philippa

Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/PhilippaStories

Sunday Morning In Paradise

Ahhhh, Sunday. Lazy, quiet Sunday. It's... not quiet at all. It's busy as can be and isn't going to let up.

Just household chores and cooking - roasting Brussels sprouts with garlic and quartered mushrooms. Baking my chicken and cooking my rice and sauteing my bell peppers and mushrooms. None of it's hard, it's just time consuming and rather boring between the waiting for it to finish and the clearing up. The good news is that I do this just once a week. It's not like I do this every day or every few days, so that's not bad.

What I make today will feed me for at least a week. Although the sprouts might not last that long. They come out of the oven so sweet and so savory that I have a hard time not eating all of them in a sitting. It's amazing what just a little olive oil, a few sprouts (trimmed) and some balsamic vinegar can do. So yummy. My mouth is watering.

Before getting downstairs this morning, though, the first thing I did was strip my bed and turn my mattress. It's a good thing it's only a full-size. In my next phase I'm thinking of getting a queen set but when I get to the store to pick it out, I'm going to see if I can woman-handle it by myself - spin it laterally and turn it over. If I can't, I'll stick to the smaller mattress. After all, just how much acreage does one person need? A queen set would be nice because, honestly, the full is just a little too short - my feet stick over the end (and I'm not that tall!) when I stretch out and it's not wide enough for me to sleep diagonally all stretched out and not have my toes poke out over the end.

The sheets are in the dryer after being washed with my new pants - hot water because by the time I left the store yesterday my hands were stained with dye from the pants. I also hope they shrink a little. They were just a little too big but the size smaller was just a little too small. I want a happy medium, something that fits perfectly and comfortably. That's another reason I hate shopping - it's an impossible task to find the "perfect" fit which is why there are seamstresses out there. But I don't have the money, or the talent or skill, to refit the "one-size-fits-all" stuff I get from the store.

Compromise, all of life is compromise and this is another one.

It's raining today - which is lovely. We've been getting days upon days of rain interspersed with dry spells, and I'm still not tired of it. I'm still not to the point where I'm turning my back to the mirror, checking over my shoulder to see if the duck feathers are starting to sprout down my spine. That might be the case in another month or so, if the rain keeps up, but I've always liked rain.

I dug around in the garage this morning, too, looking for the old silverware we've kept from our early days of marriage. Sam, our cat, has his own set of utensils and dishes. We keep them in the bathroom drawer upstairs, in the same bathroom where we use the medicine cabinet as his pantry - full of cans of cat food. I prefer using a fork to break up the food while hubby prefers using a spoon. I win. Since I do the majority of the feeding, and since I ran out of forks day before yesterday, I went out into the garage, got some more forks and now the mix will be heavy on the forks. Fascinating stuff, huh?

It's all a part of life and living here, though, and it's a little opening into my world for you to peek through and see how this speck of the other half lives.

Hubby's coffee is set up. MIL's pills are sorted for another week. The kitchen counters are cleaned. The dishwasher has been emptied and the dishes from last night that wouldn't fit are tucked inside. Just little things, normal things we all do. So, no. Not fascinating, really. And this afternoon I'll roast my Brussels sprouts and saute my mushrooms and bell peppers and cook the rice and bake the chicken.

I may even make another batch of my berry syrup since I finished what I made last week. It is so good with yogurt or oatmeal or even over a banana as dessert. Yum.

Well, enough of this. I have hours of cooking ahead so I should get going and stop procrastinating.

Have a wonderful day doing what you choose and like!

Best~
Philippa

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How Can That Be, Phil?!?

Yesterday, Friday, I started this off three different times, all on the theme of How I Can Be In Love With My Life Despite Some Big Hurdles, but it was too depressing. None of the three attempts gained traction. Instead, they slipped backward, into the bog and I don't want to be in the bog. It's too... boggy. And it's depressing, so I stopped, deciding to wait until today.

Trust me, though, I am in love with my life despite those hurdles.

Some of you know some of it. Others know much of it. One or two know pretty much most of it but no one but me knows all of it. And that's okay. It's how it should be - a private corner in my life just as everyone else has.

Then I thought about "cheating" and dropping in one of the flash pieces I've written, but that didn't seem right, so I started this on Friday and I'll finish it on Saturday. Instead of my occasional two-fer-one, it'll be a one-fer-two, and that's okay, too. It'll save us both a little time.

Now it's Saturday. In the afternoon, a bit after twelve o'clock. This wasn't a morning to love, either.

I was out the door at eight-thirty. It was raining. I had to go buy gas and, because my car is old, sometimes it doesn't like being 'fed'. Sometimes, if I let it get just a little too low, I'll fill it up, start it up, move three or four feet and it will stall.

I suspect that it's either because of a dirty fuel filter (which I haven't the money to spend replacing) or because there's an air-gap in the line. No matter. Then I have to put the car in neutral (it's an automatic transmission with power steering), get out, and push. And it's a big car, a full-size station wagon, so it's heavy. And then I get to try to steer it while pushing without power steering. It's hard. But I push it out of the way so I'm not blocking other people and then I wait. After a minute or two, if I try again, it will restart and actually run and I can drive it.

Joy of joys! It didn't stall! I was able to get it to run and drive it away.

Then I went and got the oil and power steering fluid changed.

Then I went to PetSmart and bought cat food for the next few weeks.

Then - best of all! I got to go clothes shopping.

Honest to God, I would rather have dental work without Novocain than go clothes shopping. I would rather have my eyes put out. Anything rather than shop for clothes.

After two stores and about eight trips back and forth between the racks and the dressing room I finally settled... on the first pairs of pants I tried on. An hour of my life spent in futility. I'd suck as a hunter because, for me, there is no thrill of the chase. There is no excitement of catching my prey. If it wouldn't bring tears to the eyes of adults and scare the children, I would prefer to go around stark naked or in my jammies. But, I found what I was looking for and paid for it - a shocking amount.

Then, I got to come back to the hometown and go back to Costco so I could buy the refrigerated and frozen stuff I needed. Then I got to stop at the other grocery store for the yogurt and head of garlic.

Three hours after leaving I got home and walked into... an argument. The same argument I knew I was going to get because it's the same argument I always get: "why'd you spend so much?"

This is one of the hurdles in the bog that's so depressing. Mostly I overlook and avoid this hurdle. Over the years, I've learned well how to avoid it but, unfortunately, I sometimes can't miss. On days like today, everything was wrong with what I did.

We talked about the oil and power steering fluid change before I left. It was still ammunition for this afternoon. "Why'd it cost so much?" To which I could respond, "How the hell do I know? It's what they charge!" or "I don't set the pricing, sorry." Neither of which would help, so I shrug and keep my mouth shut.

We talked about the pants that I needed two nights ago. On this, I don't know whether to laugh or smile or blush, but when I took one of the pairs of pants I wear to work out of the dryer the other night, I was horrified to see that the seat was gone. It was two holes, one on either side of the mid-seam.

Now I'm going to sit here and convince myself that those two holes were where my lower sittin' bones wore through and when I was standing and walking around work those two holes were not visible. Please don't tell me otherwise or I might just die of embarrassment. But they were one very well worn pair of pants.

So, I showed those Holy Sunday Britches to hubby and said, "I have to buy some clothes." He fussed and whined and complained but couldn't very well say, "No" given the evidence.

Today I bought two pair of pants. And I heard about that, too. Even though these are pants that are going to make the other pants I have last longer through not being worn constantly, and even though these are pants I will wear to work, and even though I now have five pairs of pants for work instead of four, he complained.

And I bought food for my lunches, and he complained.

I bought food for my breakfasts and, you got it, he complained.

So I got to go out and do all those things, then do something I hate, and then I got to come home and listen to an hour of whining.

BUT! Out of the fifteen waking hours today, I spent about one in the misery of shopping and about one in the misery of listening to hubby. Tomorrow I won't have to do those things, and tomorrow I don't have to go out and shop. Tomorrow, if I play it right, I can be up, downstairs, cooking and out of the kitchen before he even gets up, then I won't have to listen to him complain about my being in the way.

This is usual. This is my life and, despite this, I do love it because aside from the gnat buzzing in my ear there is so much else to enjoy and take pleasure in. Even sitting alone in my car while others change my oil and I don't have the gnat. Walking through Costco, picking and choosing things that I will make into something I will like without the gnat is pleasurable. It is the choice I make, to ignore the gnat, the bad and the ugly, and look for the quiet times, like now and like the driving around time this morning, alone, listening to the radio with no one complaining.

My future, when the gnat is gone for good and all, is something to which I look forward, and I will get there and then my life will be just about perfect. In the meantime it is those small moments, those little things and short times alone that allow me to say: Yes, I really do love my life.

I hope you love yours, too.

Best~
Philippa

Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/PhilippaStories

No, I Didn't Win, But I Love My Life

Yep, the Powerball draw was last night and I didn't win. I didn't even win a $5 consolation prize, but that's okay.

Thinking about it on my way to work today, it really is okay. Those aren't just empty words because I am no worse off today than I was yesterday. In fact, thinking of it, in some ways it's a blessing.

After all, I don't have to stand in front of a bunch of cameras and microphones and go off on my snarky responses. I am still me, still employed and still happy in who I am and what I do, and I don't have the added pressure of all that money.

Yeah, it is good and I'm happy and that plays right into something I heard yesterday on the drive to work. Having a lot of money isn't going to make you happy. If you're miserable without money, you'll probably be miserable with money. If you're happy without money, you'll be even happier with money. 'Money doesn't buy happiness' is a true statement. Get happy first, then win a bunch of money.

In different news, today is The Day of Assimilation. It's kind of like the Borg in Star Trek: "Resistance is futile." But that's okay, too. More than anything it's the unknown that's got me nervous, the 'what is it all about' and 'am I up to this'. Given my approach to life and living, I am up to it.

After all, if Joe Over There can do the job, why can't I? Is Joe Over There smarter than me? Maybe. But maybe it's just because he's had training and experience. If it is just because Joe Over There has training and experience, that should not prevent me from learning and gaining the experience. Then I can do the job, too.

Regardless of whether it's because someone else is smarter than me, I have a lunch meeting today with the VP of Finance, the Director of Finance and the A/R Clerk to discuss what's needed. This raises a number of questions:

1) Is this an interview? If it is, that's okay. Heck, I've interviewed often enough and across enough different industries (dental, banking, leasing, engineering, contracting, accounting/bookkeeping, etc.) that interviews don't intimidate me. Heck, I didn't even dress for an interview. I'm sitting here in blue jeans and tennies because, quite frankly, if they're looking to hire me because of my fashion sense, they'll be sadly disappointed. If they're looking to hire me because of my smarts and skills, we'll strike a deal.

2) Is this a simple 'get to know you better'? That's possible. I've been here for a bit more than two years now but I haven't worked closely with this group before and, if they're considering bringing me into the fold, they'll want to get to know me and they'll want me to get to know them.

3) Is this simply an overview conversation: 'here's what's needed' in broad strokes? Possibly but I doubt it because I don't think the VP of Finance has his fingers in this particular pie. The Director does through overseeing the person who's going to train me on this task.

Maybe it's a combination of all three. No matter. I'll go to lunch, get fed, come back and get trained and it will all be fine. I just have to learn what's required, figure out how to do it most efficiently, and make it happen.

It seems there's a bit of a backlog, but that's okay. I just came through a "bit" of a backlog with other things and they're cleared to the point where they're only taking a portion of my time now. I'm sure I can do the same here, and then I'll have attention to pay to other things.

The Stack has shrunk in the past week, and I have wrestled my database into submission. It is now doing what I wanted it to do oh those many months ago. It's still not doing what I want it to do automatically, but it's close enough that it's acceptable. I do still have one more point to deal with, some more reading, another tweak or two, and then I should be 'golden'. Or I'll have to find another solution, but that's okay. That's do-able, too.

So, no, I didn't win the lottery, except in the sense that I am still happy, still working and still as I was yesterday and I do love my life.

I hope you love your life, too, because it sure as heck beats the alternative!

Best~
Philippa

Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/PhilippaStories

It's Just Life - So It's Okay

I grumped the other day, and then I whined, and now things are back under control. Sort of. I'm pretending, anyway.

Really, things haven't changed. I'm just accepting that there are certain things I can affect and others I can't. If I can't affect them, worrying and fretting and grumping and whining won't change them. It just diminishes my pleasure in other things. I'll let them go.

It's cold here today. It was cold enough overnight that the road crews were out spreading sand over the roadways. When I came over the ridge and started down into Calistoga there was snow on the palisades above town. Not a lot - just a touch here and there in the shadows, and Mt. St. Helena looked a bit paler than usual - not her usual dusky self.

We are supposed to get "rain" here, although it's so cold it probably won't rain. If we do get precipitation, it will probably come down as snow - a light dusting would be all since we're so low in altitude and relatively near the coast. That'll no doubt be enough, though. Enough to get us Californians seriously messed up and in the ditch because most people around here haven't a clue how to drive safely in the rain (slow down and leave more space between you and the other guys). The snow, if we get any, will be a real adventure (slow down even more and leave a lot more space between you and the other guys).

I did get good news and satisfaction today, so that's a plus.

The project about which I was grumping the other day is done and turned in. That's the satisfaction.

The good news is that the carpet I've ordered for the conference room here will be delivered and installed on Wednesday - in time for year end. Another bit of good news came via e-mail - a release from an obligation that is a rather pleasant surprise considering surrounding circumstance.

Now, I have a couple of phone calls to make, and get the year-end billing wrapped up (yeah, good luck with that!). But! If I get those done this week will be off to a good start.

It looks like our vendors want to get their year-end billing wrapped up, too. I got a boatload of paper today - all of which need to be reviewed and coded and entered and passed along. By ten o'clock tomorrow morning.

(So why are you writing this, Phil? Because I'm on my lunch hour, silly.)

Besides, whatever doesn't get processed (I'll take care of the big ones first) will be accrued - just like every other business.

Then I get to turn my attentions to The Stack. It's the pile anyone who works has. It's the catch-all and I don't care if it's an In-Tray, a Pending Box or just a corner of the desk, it's The Stack since you, just as I, probably deal with the easy stuff first. I don't even have an In-Tray because it's going to be The Stack whether or not it's contained. So I let it spread out and get comfy until I get to it.

Most of it will be straightforward. It's just those documents - a hefty portion - that are written in Asian characters. I haven't a clue whether it's Japanese, a form of Chinese (I have some documents from both Taiwan and Mainland China) or Korea - but I have to group them together somehow. That'll be interesting and that's the thing that's really kept me from diving into The Stack before now.

Unfortunately for me, my Stack is inherited and I'm not quite sure what it includes. Some of it I'm familiar with because I put it there after touching it and looking at it. A lot of it, though, arrived in the same boxes in which it's sitting. Someone left, I get The Stack from their desk. Someone moved, I get The Stack from their cube. Then there are the hefty portion that are in Asian characters. Hmm. If it were French or Italian or even Cyrillic I might stand a chance - change my keyboard and start entering letters (typing) and see what comes up and match, then translate. Unfortunately, with the similarities between the several and my total lack of code deciphering skills...

Last week I dreamed I would have this week to whittle The Stack down to size. Hah! Then I got my project. Then I thought, "Yay!" Then I got the mail. "Damn."

Oh well. That is the Truth about Stacks. Never mind if you clear it up this week, it will start to regrow (kind of like a mold or something) next week. It's like dust - inevitable and self-recurring.

As for me and my other world, I'm giving it over. I cannot keep worrying about things over which I have no control. If I can control it, even a little, I can fix it. If I can't, then worrying is a waste of time, attention and energy. I'll set it aside and deal with it when the time comes.

I even wrote a little (about two hundred words) this weekend. The first time I've felt like writing anything in several weeks, so maybe there is a bright horizon out there. We'll see.

In the meantime, I'm going to get started on the billing and then dive into The Stack.

Have a lovely day!

Best~
Philippa

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Life Is Amazing

More than the simple living and breathing and growing and dying, the matters involved with living life are amazing. The little moments, the tiny things in the seconds that pass by in our days. Each one, painful or not, is a miracle.

I'll confess to drinking a touch more than I should have last night. We had Drambuie in the house that hubby brought home on Thanksgiving. As I have occasionally since then, I had a small after dinner tot. Until last night it was just one, perhaps a finger or two. Last night, though... I don't know what happened.

I had one. Then I wanted another because the first one tasted so good. By the end of the second my face was numb, my normal "stop" sign. But damn that second one tasted good, too. There was just a little left in the bottle, only... Oh. Crap. Two fingers, not one. Well, it's in the glass now, so what the hell.

When it was all over I felt good - not "buzzed" - just relaxed and ready to sleep. I came upstairs, did my cat settling and me settling and all was well and right with my part of the world when I fell asleep.

Early this morning, around 0400 or so, there was a change in weather - a low front was coming through with rain. The sound of rain in the downspouts and the change in pressure coupled with the overindulgence woke me up to a massive sinus headache and moderately queasy stomach.

The pain in my face was bad enough that I wondered if people's heads ever explode from overfull sinuses. I put my hands over my cheeks and eyes, pressing to hold it all together while allowing the warmth to build and start relieving the pain. (Yes, I know there are pills for that, but I do not take pills unless I think I might die - it's just a personal thing.) I drank some water, went downstairs and got a piece of bread and another bottle of water - carbonated this time. I really didn't want the bread but ate it anyway, then started on the water. After a while, I fell asleep for a couple of more hours and woke up feeling fine - no headache, just a need to relieve pressure elsewhere, which I did. (Gee, ma, how's that for a euphemism?)

Since then the low front has passed, taking the rain and the pain with it. Now it's cloudy and windy with patches of blue sky - a pretty fall day. I have to go out later and run errands. I have got to replace my shoes because they're tattered and torn and beyond hope. They're comfortable though. And since I would rather drive a nail through my foot than shop they're still, in theory, the better alternative. However, the time has come and I just have to suck it up and do it. Shop, that is, not do the nail driving thing. I've had enough pain for one day.

As I posited in my post the other day, the pressure in my life has eased, too. That spread-too-thin feeling has abated. It's like being in a river. One minute you're racing ahead, bouncing off of obstacles and impediments, spinning and flailing and feeling that control will never return. The next, the water slows, it spreads deeper and wider, becomes calm and easy. You can breathe and take time to look around, consider options and ideas. That's where I am, now. That deep and calm place. How long it will last is anyone's guess, but for me, for now, I'll enjoy it.

That's one of the amazing things in life. That evolution between chaos and calm and chaos that's a part of living and breathing.

Did all of those chaotic things get dealt with last week? No.
Did life as we know it end because of it? No.
Will life end because they didn't get done? No.

I did get the hotel reservations made, and then changed them when the dates changed.

I did get lunch ordered. One of my errands today is to buy serving dishes and utensils for it. It's Chinese and I think it would be a bit declasse to serve it from the take-away boxes. Besides, I serve lunch to groups at least once a month and having serving things at work instead of having to remember to bring them from home would be helpful.

I did get more of the accounts payable items off my desk, and was asked to help with accounts receivable while our A/R clerk is out for a period of time. So the potential for more chaos, but we'll see how it goes - how much is needed and how far it will go.

I did get the approval for the carpeting, and then got a change to the price from the vendor and am back in negotiations, still with the goal of getting the carpet installed by year-end. Heck! I have three weeks, right?

I didn't get the Gantt chart worked through, and that's a big one.

I didn't get the meetings relating to it scheduled for the coming week, and that's another big one.

I didn't get the team meetings for next year scheduled, but that's a small one. I can do that in the space of thirty minutes on Monday morning - at least get them scheduled for January in that time frame. Then I can tackle February and March sometime between now and the end of the year, so people have time to plan.

A step at a time, that's all anyone can do and I'm doing my best. Things will come and things will go, some will stay the same and others will change, it's all just a matter of keeping at it. Even when it does feel overwhelming. Even if you do something silly and ill-considered and end up with a headache. This too shall pass. And to help it pass, something amusing for your viewing pleasure (trust me - it is funny and wildly different from what you might expect from the intro):

And I found that because I was searching for a rendition of "Rejoice" - in keeping with the underlying theme of this post - by The King's Singers. The song, "Gaudete", is from the 16th century. It seems fitting with life and living and breathing and all the rest of it so here it is:

I wish you a joyous day full of life and living and breathing and the miracles of seconds passing us by.

Best~
Philippa

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Nothing Is Clear - But It's All Good. I Think.

There's the nitter-natter of gun control on-going in Washington and other places again, some more. Yes, that's deliberate on-purpose because they talk and talk and talk and, in the end, do nothing. Until next time when it's like a clockwork doll being wound-up again.

As I and others who think as I do have already said, we have a plethora of gun control laws and a plethora of vermin (aka bad guys). The vermin don't pay attention to the gun laws which is why we have shootings. Until the vermin do pay attention to the laws, the shootings won't stop.

Sorry - but the genie is out of the bottle, Pandora's box has been opened and here we are. We have guns, they are readily available no matter what the ill-informed hand-wringers want to believe, and until these vermin are stopped in their tracks - taken down, taken out - they will continue to do heinous things. The laws don't matter because the people who do these things don't and won't abide by them (I'm hoping that by repeating myself, this might sink in a little more).

The only legislation that would help - not solve but help - would be eliminating gun sales at gun shows. If you want to buy a gun of any kind, anything beyond a plastic water pistol that is - you have to go to a licensed gun dealer, fill out the paperwork, take the gun safety test, etc. I still think this needs to go farther.

I still think that beyond the simple paperwork and background check, anyone who wants to own a firearm should have to go through a thorough medical screening. In my opinion giving up the right to medical privacy is a small price if you really want or feel you need to own a weapon. If you want to own a firearm, you should have to undergo a screening - similar to those which police academy applicants have to go through. You should also be required to attend firearm safety classes - including shooting and firearms handling - similar to the training policemen and military trainees go through.

Will that be a 100% surety? No. But I'm willing to wager that among the law-abiding it would clear the risky and allow the rest of us to breathe a bit more easily if open carry becomes popular and more common in states other than Texas and Arizona.

I was interested to see an article about a sheriff in upstate New York who is asking permitted citizens and off-duty policemen to carry their weapons. Heck, since the laws aren't a deterrent because they're just a bunch of words on paper the vermin will never read, perhaps a visual aid will do the trick. While he's posting that, I'll go back to advocating for firearm education and open carry.

In the meantime, as sorry as I am for what happened in San Bernardino, it is yet another situation about which I can do nothing. I have no effect for change, no ability to undo. Instead, I have a life ahead of me and it's calling.

Browsing the news again this morning I see the politicians are playing politics again. The Senate passed a bill to defund Planned Parenthood for one year (as if that will do any good) and strip some of the assets from Obamacare (as if that will do any good). It'll go back to the House where they'll wet themselves over what a great job they're doing. It'll get passed back to the Senate and, eventually, will end up on Obie-One's desk.

Now, do you really think for one nanosecond that he's going to sign a bill that removes a part of  his "landmark" legislation - his pride and joy - and defunds one of his favorite organizations in one swell-foop? Not on your life. It's laughable and pathetic. It's just something these yahoos can point to going into an election year and say, "we tried".

Closer to home, today is the dreaded Holiday Party. I suspect that, as these things usually turn out, I will get there and have more fun than I expect to have right now. Right now it's the dread of trying to figure out what to say to a bunch of people I don't know beyond work, and a whole bunch more who work in other offices in other cities. Back to the wallflower impression - standing in the corner, glancing at my watch, wishing it would just end. Unfortunately, getting blitzed is not an option. I really don't want to start tomorrow morning with my head hanging over a toilet bowl. However, I may just get silly - to encourage the start of conversation. What do you think about this:

As for tomorrow, as soon as my feet hit the floor at six o'clock I have a full schedule. Daughter is nearing her Time with Baby No. 1 - the end of February which is just around the corner. I have a carload of furniture and books and dolls to pass along. Her hubby isn't particularly thrilled with my largess because they're moving in a few months, after the baby is born, and he's not looking forward to packing all this stuff up to move it. If they weren't moving nearly 1,000 miles from here, I'd say 'wait' and then deliver it next summer or so.

Unfortunately, they are moving nearly 1,000 miles from here and I don't know how soon I'll have a chance to get up there to visit them. With other things bubbling in my background, it might be a while.

Which means that tomorrow I get to take a long (two hour) drive out to the place where they're living so I can dump my largess on them. Then I get to drive two hours back and do my errands. At least it's a pretty drive - out west toward the Sonoma County coast. This is the best time of year in these parts, in my opinion. It's chilly, but the colors on the trees are pretty - gold and yellow and bronze with a sprinkling of red in some places. With the rain we've been getting, the hills are greening a bit after being gold and brown for the summer, as they always are.

I'm also thinking forward. I have a lot ahead of me - some of it sad, some of it tremendously scary but beyond those, hopeful and (I hope) happy.

Life does go on. We do get up the morning after and make our coffee and take our shower, get dressed and move forward. We go to work, talk to our associates and colleagues. Share information and gossip, eat and, hopefully, make it safely home again.

Wishing you a safe and happy day, a hopeful future and only pleasure.

Best~
Philippa

Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/PhilippaStories

Life & Living & Marching On

I'm pissed off and depressed and anxious and all sorts of other messy things. So much so that I have taken a couple of days away from writing. As in I have done NO writing in the past few days - and for me that's a lot like holding my breath until I turn purple.

There were the vermin in Paris last week, and the babbling cacophony that's followed ever since.

There have been declarations that I am "ignorant" because I do not take a moderate view toward vermin like those who promulgate and perpetrate such acts. Well, I've got news for those who say that: I have never declared myself to be a scholar on the subject. But I read and I assimilate the information I read and I form opinions and attitudes. And I have just as much right to express my view and opinion as anyone else. But there are some who disagree that I have that right. It appears, based on what was written and exchanged between me and the two in particular, unless I am in precise lockstep with their view of the world, I and others like me should just STFU.

Farther out on the tree limb are the people like the man in Virginia who's all over the news yesterday and today. A public hearing regarding construction of a new mosque and he's standing there accusing everyone who's a Muslim of being in league with the vermin of ISIS. Now there is ignorance. It is as stupid and blind and nasty as saying that all white people are card carrying KKK members, or all blacks are members of the Black Panthers or that all Asians run dry cleaning establishments or restaurants. It's ignorant, insulting and, as I said above, downright stupid.

However, it is based on fear so while it is decidedly wrong, there is at least a handle to grasp for understanding. It's a tiny little thing, a barely there protrusion of a handle, and once the heat of this moment passes I sincerely hope the individual who said such hateful things will see the error of his ways and recant. I also hope that the people to whom this idiot directed his remarks will take the high road, that they see his fear and lack of understanding for what it is: ignorance. As unpleasant as it is, at least ignorance of something can be overcome by education.

There is the wider worry of who is coming across our borders. Eight Syrian men were caught in Texas the other day. Five were caught in Honduras with stolen Greek passports on their way into the US. How many have been missed and why are they here? Are they simply seeking asylum or are they here to do harm? I don't know and neither does anyone else, except for the individuals themselves.

On top of all of this is the news that ISIS is actively, aggressively seeking chemical weapons technology. They've already used sarin against their "enemies" in Syria so it is not beyond the realm of imagination that they'll cheerfully use anything they can lay hands on to spread their terror. What if they do something using chemical agents in the Paris metro or in a place like Stade de France or some other place where many people congregate? It's a horrible thought because some of the things I've read about are seriously scary shit. Like agents that are so deadly that if you touch them with bare skin you die. Agents that cling to surfaces for hours or days or weeks and are just as effective weeks after "application" as they are in the first moments.

With all of this, is it any wonder that I'm depressed and anxious?

I don't want to live in an ugly world where going to a public place means I'm packing worry or fear in my bag along with whatever else I'm taking. I don't want to live in a world where I have to strip down and submit to being x-rayed in order to get onto an airplane. I don't want to live in a world where there are a few vermin negating the rest of civilization - and yet that is precisely where we are.

I don't fear that anything is going to happen to me or my family. We don't go to public places very often. We stay close to home and go about our normal lives. We don't travel. We don't do much of anything, really. So we're safe. Reasonably so, anyway.

Beyond that, when I drill down to the bottom line of my life and living, I'm a pragmatist. I know that no one survives life. At some point I will die. It is just a question of when and how. Truth is, I'm not ready yet, so I hope it doesn't happen anytime soon. I have too many plans, too many things to which I'm looking forward to doing to want it end anytime soon.

I have my bucket trip several years from now. Providing, of course, the vermin are controlled. Wiped out would be better, but that's too much to hope for so I'll settle for controlled.

Sooner, in the not too distant future (based on observation and assumption), I have other changes that will take place. My MIL will pass and I'll enter a new stage of life. I will become the "oldest generation" for our family and I have things in the works that are going to make that first a scary and then a hopeful and hopefully wonderful time. It is scary, though, looking to the future I've mapped out. Once I get there and get my sleeves rolled up, it'll be fine. It's just this preliminary time in which it looms overwhelmingly large. It'll shrink as I get closer. At least I hope so.

In the meantime, I'm going about my business and not losing sleep over that which I can't control, anyway. I hope you do, too.

Have a lovely day!

Best~
Philippa

Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/PhilippaStories

A Day for Counting

I have decided enough negativity is about twenty times too much, and I have spent the last ten days or so whining, bitching, moaning and complaining. Therefore, I am going to make a determined effort count the flowers today.

• I woke up early, feeling rested.
• I got my chores done in good time.
• I have my eyesight
• It's a beautiful day outside.
• I have my mobility.
• The laundry is hanging on the line, absorbing the sunshine.
• I have my marbles and play with them regularly.
• I've spent hours writing, working on 'In A Green & Shady Place' before I set it aside for the month of November.

Tomorrow I have a couple of meetings and a big stack of work, so I won't go in and cast around for something to do. That's always a good thing.

Yep. Overall, life is very darned good, and I'm pleased.

One of the things I want to do in the next week or so is come up with a recipe for baked potato soup. I've had it from a restaurant, and it was good, although a bit too salty for my liking. On top of the salt in the bacon, I suspect they added more for "flavor". I've also had it from Safeway - their story version. It's quite good but I like my soup thicker. Progresso makes one, too, but that one's full of chemicals and crap to keep it "fresh" inside the can.

I want rich potato taste, thick broth and lots of savory flavor. I have my ideas, so I'll give it a try next weekend. As with everything having to do with cooking, if it's edible when it goes in, it will probably be edible when it comes out, even if it's not palatable. Fortunately, my palate is pretty forgiving and I very rarely end up with something I refuse to choke down.

Instead of heavy cream and/or half-and-half, which some recipes call for, I'll go for whole milk and yogurt instead of sour cream. There's no avoiding the bacon, * snap of fingers * oh darn! Celery, a bit of green onion for the milder flavor, sauteed together in butter since this is not something that will permit olive oil, unfortunately. Lots of black pepper, because I like black pepper, and lots of potato so it will be thick. Mmmm.

Right now, though, while it sounds good it's not mouthwatering. There was left-over salad from a catered lunch on Friday. No one else wanted it, so I bagged it up and brought it home. It was pretty limp by yesterday, even worse today, but it was still tasty.

And I keep telling myself that the calorie count really isn't that bad. It's all in the dressing, right? I'll ignore the croutons and shredded Parmesan cheese (it was mostly Caesar salad).

I managed to convince hubby that I didn't want to do more house clearing this weekend and he agreed. It was a grudging agreement, but it's Sunday afternoon and he's only complained once. By next weekend I expect we'll be nearly done and he can call for the bin. I just hope it doesn't rain once the bin arrives. But it probably will. That's how these things go, right?

The NaNoWriMo exercise is getting to be a challenge. I haven't started because that would defeat the idea, but my naughty alter-ego is pushing me to start. My angel side keeps saying, 'no, not until next weekend.' Fortunately, with the intervention of a week of work, I should be able to keep my honor intact and not start before November 1. Next Sunday. One more week and then...

I've played out what the first chapter will be in my mind, and I know what will come next and next. It's just hard not to put it down on paper. But I won't. Not until it's time and the starting gate lifts.

Looking in on the NaNo site I get the sense that some people are pushing the boundary. That they've started their writing. One even said they'll "reduce their November word count" by whatever number they have before then. Uh, yeah. Uh huh.

Sorry - but if you're going to cheat once, why would I think you won't cheat again?

Whatever. It's not really a competition with others. It's a competition with self - a how much quality can I put down on paper in thirty days? My goal is to get the 50k down in ten days and then spend the next twenty days editing and cleaning. That's pretty ambitious. Five thousand words per day, consistently. I just checked, copying from 'Shady' and discovered that five thousand words is roughly eighteen pages in Word. That's a lot of pages everyday and everyday.

But, it's a goal - not a requirement, so we'll see.

Anyway. Life and hubby are calling so I'm going to wrap this up. I hope you have a lovely day. Take a minute and count your blessings, too. Even the little ones have value - never take the good for granted.

Best~
Philippa

Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/PhilippaStories

Yep. I've Hit The Wall

I never sleep as late as I did this morning. Opened my eyes well after sunrise, looked at the clock and... 8:29 am. I never sleep that late, except today. Which tells me something. I'm tired.

During the week, I'm awake at 4:45 each morning. Sometimes, I'm still tired and want to sleep, so I'll hit the second or third alarm (5:15 and 5:45, respectively). Most nights I wake up along the way. Sometimes for a few minutes, often for an hour or more.

As of this morning, sleeping as late as I did and feeling as tired as I do, I know I've hit The Wall. The limit of my energies for a while.

Work has been incredibly busy recently, which contributes. It is fun, though, so I don't mind. I've been looking forward to getting there and digging in, so that's good.

Home life is becoming more challenging. As my MIL deteriorates my hubby needs more support and attention.

For instance, this morning I got my MIL's nutritional drink, as I do every morning, and put her three pill cups out, breakfast, lunch and dinner, as I do every morning. Hubby and I talked about her breakfast. I offered to get it, he said 'no', so I didn't. Then at about eleven o'clock she asked, "don't I get breakfast or lunch or anything today?"

I checked with hubby, he said he'd done it. I checked the pill cup I put her breakfast pills in this morning, it was empty, indicating she'd eaten. Her paper breakfast plate was still on the tray (another means of saving water in our household - we eat off of paper for breakfast and lunch). I checked the trash for the telltale banana peel. Yep, it was there. She ate. She just doesn't remember that she ate.

As for hubby, he usually spends the evenings talking at me in an endless stream-of-consciousness dissertation. Mostly complaints about his mother or his feet or his back or how the world is out to screw us or...  I think, genuinely believe that to any other human being listening, that stream-of-consciousness dissertation does not or should not require response or affected laughter. But, when I don't respond or laugh when expected (even if I don't think it's even remotely funny) he gets angry. So I have to pay close attention - even if all I want to do is go up to bed.

Then there's Sam, who is still here, needing attention and endless watering. His kidneys are failing, I know that, because that's what happens with eighteen+ year old cats. So he needs constant attention and loving and clean-up.

Between all of that I well know why I'm tired all the time. It's what people do to themselves. They give and give and give and... Sometimes they get back. Sometimes they don't. And when I do take time for myself, carve out a little area of my day and sit down for Me, I feel guilty - as if what I'm doing is somehow 'wrong', even when I know it's not.

Still, that's the time in which I write because writing is my rest. But even that, with all the other stresses and pressures, it's almost too much. So I haven't been for the past ten days. Except for my blog, one flash fiction entry, and some posts on Scribblers, and plotting and planning my excursion into NaNoWriMo. The story on which I was working has fallen to the side, and the others that I think about working on won't be, at least for a while.

I will be writing in November, for sure, because for NaNo, one of my online friends has offered to be my writing buddy. She'll be there to kick me in the butt and get me going if I stall, and I'll do the same for her. If I get a a crossroads and waffle or struggle, she'll be my sounding board, and I'll do the same for her. But I need to catch up with myself, get rested, because November is going to be wild.

So, for now, I'm on hiatus from actual writing, although I did devise a new plot twist for a story that was becoming all too vanilla. I will write that out at some point, although I don't know when or if I'll post it anywhere anytime soon. We'll see. And we'll see how long it takes for me to re-energize from where I am.

For the moment, the pool cover (removing it) and errands are looming, so I'll finish this up and get going on real-life stuff.

Hope you have a lovely, calm and restful day!

Best~
Philippa

Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/PhilippaStories

It's Pretty Much Like Life

I think it's definite. It's at least probably definite that I'll do NaNoWriMo this year. I've pondered it in the past couple of years, but never felt motivated. This year I have the motivation and the story idea. It's pretty strong, too, so I think it will be reasonably easy.

The whole point of NaNoWriMo is to write 50,000 words in thirty days. That's substantially a complete novel since most commercial published stories are in the range of 50,000 to 90,000 words, depending on genre.

Because of the time constraint, I've decided that I'm going to do something I never do when it comes to my stories.

I am what's known as a "pantser" - meaning I write by the seat of my pants. I don't draw up an outline for stories. I don't plot them. I don't do character development off to the side. In fact, I don't do much of anything but write them down and then fiddle with them endlessly. Mostly because I hate barriers and restrictions and I do see an outline as a restriction.

If I say, "this is how chapter one should be, and chapter two and..." I get locked in. Then, if something unexpected develops from what I'm writing, I have to struggle with how or whether to follow that thread - even if that thread seems brilliant but will blow the rest of the outline out of the water. It creates an unnecessary conundrum, in my opinion.

Now, because of the time frame and the story I have in mind, I will draw up an outline. I even have the title (I think). Just a bit of research to make sure that James Bond had the proverb correctly when he spoke it. If so, I'm good to go. Otherwise, I'll have to come up with another, similar declaration.

It's going to be a surprise for those who read my posts here. I'm not going to give anything away - not the title, not the outline, nothing. If you want to know what it is, you'll have to wait and then read each day in November because I have decided to serialize it. It should be fun for both of us.

In the meantime, Authonomy did shut down, as HC threatened. It's a sad day for many people, but we have other places to go.

Kudos to Harper Collins for doing the decent thing and giving everyone prior warning. Not just twenty-four hours, either. They gave us more than a month's warning. That was marvelous because it gave us a chance to search out new homes, to discuss them - their pluses and minuses - and to decide what would work for us, as individuals, to reconnect in new places. It was a gracious thing to do and I, for one, appreciate it very much.

I did check out several. Some on which I already had accounts, others were new. None are like Authonomy, but they all have their minuses and pluses, just like everything in life. I've picked my new homes - WriteOn for the writing. It's affiliated with Amazon's Kindle which will make the step to publication easier. Scribblers will be my place for the communing with my fellow writers.

My flash pieces will start on Scribblers and may end up here. Or not. I'll chat there and work on WriteOn. Or maybe I'll do flash on both places since Scribblers has the weekly FFF thread, and WriteOn has a Weekend Write-In. Both are different, both are challenging although I do find the WriteOn theme more difficult since it limits the word count to five hundred instead of one thousand.

If you want to try it, just start writing a story - whatever you choose - and then complete it in under five-hundred words.

It's hard at first, but as with everything else, if you practice, you get better - which means you're cutting the chaff and keeping the kernels, which is something imperative to good writing. You don't want your story to get lost in too many words. Keep it to just enough and you're golden. But it is hard because stories do tend to take on a life of their own.

On WriteOn, I already have two books up and two flash books started. It's an active site and encouraging, although if you're not active your books fall off the radar - which is actually a good thing.

That was one complaint I had about Authonomy, and about Book Country. You never knew whether the book you were reading and commenting upon was active or someone's abandoned baby. In just the past ten days, since I was focused on wedding stuff and wedding recovery, I haven't been writing / updating and posting. And my books have evaporated into the background. Which is fine. I'll get active, they'll resurface and things will get back on track.

I looked at some other places, too, but none compare to Authonomy. And they shouldn't. They should stand or fall on their own merits. Some people like this or that and I don't, so we'll commune together on Scribblers and go our separate ways (or not) for our writing. Pretty much like life.

Now, I hope you have a wonderful day!

Best~
Philippa

Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/PhilippaStories

The Reality of Things: When Life Steps in & Demands Attention

Friday was petty. Saturday was petty. Minor, piddling spats when compared to the Reality of Things. And the Reality of Things smacked a lot of us upside the head this weekend.

Frankly, I don't glue myself to the television. It's a nuisance, an irritant most of the time. Except when something fast-moving and interesting is going on and catches my attention. As it happens, I missed the start of the latest fire up in Lake County. It didn't reach my awareness until yesterday afternoon - and that's when the glue took hold.

This is the fourth major wildfire up there this summer, the third calling for mass evacuations. As bad as the others were, they were dress rehearsals for this one.

While the others were bad, in the scope of area burned, a relatively few people lost their homes and, as tragic as that is (I cannot begin to imagine how horrible that would be), the scope of this one, the speed of it, is astonishing.

I heard reports of news crews seeing dead livestock caught by the fire along the side of the road. The animals could not be saved because the fire was moving too fast for their owners to get to them, load them up and get them out. Many people literally fled in front of the fire. They had no time to grab anything because the flames were bearing down so quickly.

It started Saturday afternoon. Yesterday, it had grown to more than 50,000 acres. This morning it's at 61,000 acres and still growing.

Coworkers are displaced and several people our people know have lost their homes. Many people in the area have lost everything.

As a personal-to-me coworker tally:

One family is living with friends in Santa Rosa because their home was in line to burn. Thankfully, when the man-of-the-house went and checked yesterday, the house is standing. The fire came close, but missed.

Another coworker - one who took in family twice in the last fires - was in an area that was badly burned. In their case, the local elementary school and market burned, but their house is still standing even though they evacuated and went to stay with yet another co-worker. They had to leave so quickly they had to leave three of their outdoor cats behind. Fortunately, when a neighbor stopped by to check on things, he found the missing cats. They're fine, just hungry.

One person's backyard burned, but the house is fine.

The "primary" town up there in the burn area - Middletown - has been ravaged. It was a small town of about 1,300. The surrounding area has been decimated, too. 13,000 people evacuated. Four-hundred structures burned. If you want to see a vision of Hell, take a look at this less than two minute video from YouTube. The driver is heading toward Middletown - where he thinks he can take refuge:

Imagine this is your world - your neighborhood. This is reality in Lake County and it puts into perspective the pettiness of every day living. And I am not above it, until I'm reminded.

I hope you and your family are safe - that nothing like this ever happens to you or to anyone you know, or to anyone, anywhere, any time, ever.

Best~
Philippa

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Picking Flowers from Rubble

I honestly don’t know what made me think of this. Perhaps it’s a ‘count my blessings’ exercise or, as I prefer to say, flower collecting in rubble.

In any case, I was pulling out of the driveway of my office yesterday afternoon. I’m careful because we’re in a mixed residential / industrial area. There are kids, it’s summer, and I don’t want to run any ankle biters over. Nor do I want to get plastered like a bug on the front of a semi. So I’m careful.

Pulling out between our building and the one next door, what happens? Yep. As if by magic, a pair of young, around six or seven-year old, ankle-biters appear right by the front fender of my car. They’re on their skateboards so I don’t know if they were merrily whizzing along and I nearly slobberknocked them, or if they had paused to get a cold drink from the coffee shop that’s right there, by the driveway. No matter. All I could think was ‘Where did they come from!?’ Fortunately, I did not hit them, they did not hit me, no one got hurt, but it scared me.

Whew! I backed up to let them pass, checked again – left, right, left – as the protocol in the States requires. It’s clear so I pull out and drive down to the plant to deliver what I need to deliver.

I finish up down there, get back in the car to reverse my process and… ‘Where the Hell did that come from!??’ It’s a UPS truck that looks HUGE as it just about slams into me.

There are bushes along the property line between our property and the property next door. No fence, but the bushes are tall and full – you cannot see down the street, and no one coming down the street can see you, until you stick your nose out. He didn’t see me. He’s there for our daily pick-up. He usually drives like a bat out of Hell and today was no different. Fortunately, I was going slowly, laughing to myself that I had to be careful not to run over any ankle-biters when he just about plows into me.

Again – no paint was traded, but it did scare me. What is up with that? Two near misses in less than five minutes? Geez! What does this bode for the drive home?

I already had this done to me:

Compare pictures two and three, those are the most telling. Three is the passenger side, rumpled but the trunk (boot, in case you're British) is still discernible. Two - well, the entire back end of the car from the back bumper to the back of the tire is gone. Smashed in so it's not recognizable - and that is the driver's side. For a reality check, you can get an idea of the length of metal that's missing if you compare the open trunk lid to the frame. About 18-inches or so, give or take a couple of inches.

That was done to me on the freeway in 2013, the end of a great four day period.

On Friday afternoon, I found something that was supposed to be in my boss’s In-box. I wasn’t supposed to see it, but it was in his Out box by mistake. After I distributed the stuff, I got some of it back. When I looked through it, to determine who should get it, I was shocked to see that it was a draft letter notifying me of my termination. Surprise!

My boss was out of town that week, so I couldn’t go talk to him about it. I got to fret all afternoon, and then all weekend. I was still fretting Monday morning and I did talk to him.

There was nothing to be done about it. It wasn’t me or my performance. The company is a government contractor and because of Sequestration they were terminating a number of people. Oh joy! Shared pain makes it so much easier to bear, doesn’t it?

So I get through the day and am on my way home. It's a three lane freeway - two through lanes and one carpool lane along the center divide. Because of the number of cars getting on and off, I'm hanging out in the center lane, as I usually do.

Traffic is heavier than usual so I’m leaving room between me and the car in front when the guy ahead of me slams on his brakes so hard his back end lifts up.

For me, at forty-five miles an hour, it’s either slam on my brakes and risk having the guy behind me, who’s following too close, ram me. At which I would probably run right under the van that has its butt up in the air. Or, I can pull into the HOV lane – which I always pay attention to ‘in case’. I pick the HOV lane and get safely over.

Traffic that was stopped starts to move. I start to pull back into the center lane when KA-BAM!! It’s like the End of the World I tell ya! The End of the World!

I left skid marks about thirty-feet long. I’m disoriented, feeling like part of me is over there and some of me is over there. Rather like the Scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz after the flying monkeys get done with him.

Long story short, I get hauled off to the hospital in an ambulance, back board, neck brace and the whole nine-yards.

So there’s a pile of rubble for you. I had just learned a couple of days before that I’m going to lose my job. I talked to my boss who basically shrugged and said ‘sorry’. My car has been totaled and I am on my way to the hospital with God only knows what injuries.

Yeah. So cars and accidents and nearly hitting and nearly being hit kind of wind me up a bit.

The good news that came out of that period is that I got a sanity check pretty soon after the accident.

At the hospital they did an MRI and x-rays - nothing broken, nothing injured, just take it easy for a few days. Here are some pain pills, if you need them.

I got back to work the next morning, despite everything, and got a heroes welcome. Sort of. Unfortunately, ironically, the first person who saw me was the woman who drafted my termination letter.

"What are you doing here?" She asked in obvious surprise.

Looked her square in the eye and quietly said, "I still work here, right?"

Yeah - I'm a bitch. Or I can be. And it didn't feel very good, not as good as it should have because I knew it wasn't her choice, either.

Anyway, the sanity check.

My husband and the cops hadn’t gotten all my stuff out of the car, so I had to go to the wrecking yard to get what was left. I felt work early on Wednesday afternoon and when I got there the gal behind the counter took me out into the yard to show me where the car was.

She took one look at the wreck, looked at me and then back at the car. “You walked away from that!?”

Yes I did, so given her reaction, I guess it could have been a lot worse. It would have been better had I not gone through that, but having done so, I know it could have been a lot worse.

Like today, a chance for flower counting.

I did not squish kids on my windshield nor did I get squished on a truck’s front end. Life is pretty darned good when I look at it like that. So, yeah. That's the start of a bouquet right there.

Have a safe, accident-free and lovely day!

Best~

Philippa

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