Seven Year Old Time

Do you remember when you were a kid, and an hour actually was an hour? It was a lo-nnng time. Long enough that days seemed to last for a day, not a minute or two.

That was how my day was yesterday, and it was lovely! I was amazed at how nice it felt to look at the clock, expecting to see it was around ten but finding it was only eight. Then looking again, hours later, to find it was just ten.

I kept expecting it to speed up, to hit "normal" speed in the grup world where a minute lasts about a second (unless something bad is happening when that minute becomes ten seconds). But it didn't. All day and all evening time moved at a stately pace and I was thrilled.

I edited about ten chapters of 'Shady'. Not just edited, but read and tweaked and re-read and refined. I went back farther than where I wanted to actually start working, to make sure the transition from what I had to what I was creating would be seamless. It is. I've added a "spoiler" to Melanie's happy time. I've brought the story to where I wanted it to be, and have modified it a bit. I'm still not entirely happy, but it is better than it was.

From more than 122,000 words on Friday I'm down to 117,000 - even fewer than I was yesterday even though I've added detail and a few other things. The fat is being rendered and the roast is coming along nicely.

I also tweaked the blurb I wrote in preparation for submitting it this week. Sticking a fork in it on Saturday, I discovered it wasn't quite done, so I messed with it a bit and it's better. Now I have to see what's needed / expected and then decide if what I have will work, or if it needs work.

On top of all of that, this is a short work week here in the States. Thanksgiving is Thursday and our company (as most do) is closed on Friday - so I'll have a four day weekend to write and edit and fix and tweak and mess with my story. At the rate I'm going, I may beat the end of January deadline I've set for myself by five or six weeks. If I'm lucky.

Of course, I want to get through this pass, then do another. The end of the story has got to be as strong and well-refined as the beginning, and that's almost harder than writing the thing in the first place.

When I was participating in Authonomy, before it shut down last summer, everyone would read and comment on the first few chapters of a story. Because of that focus and attention, the first chapters always were the strongest - you got feedback on every little detail, all from different perspectives, and adjusted based on what was said and suggested.

The rest of the book would pretty much just lie there, unread and unloved. Personally, the vast majority of the books were okay but in my time there I never once found anything on which I would willingly spend my money. I'm too picky and most writing today is, in my opinion, lazy.

With the ease of self-publishing, the ability to publish a mediocre story at the press of a few buttons, there isn't a striving for real quality.

For instance, there's a book that's just been selected by Kindle Scout for publication, and it's a head scratcher to me. In my opinion it is, at best, mediocre writing.

The entire first chapter is pointless. It adds nothing to the story - nothing to the plot, nothing of merit to the main character, and the secondary character in that chapter isn't more than mentioned another time or two throughout the remainder of the book. Why is he there in the first place?

It also breaks about every rule of good writing there is for an opening scene.

The book (I won't say the story) opens with the first line about a barking dog. Okay... and then what? It's not explained. This is the first line of the book and that dog evaporates without explanation. Why is it there?

The main character wakes up. Big deal. So did I, this morning and yesterday and the day before. That is not an Earth-shattering event because there's nothing else going on. She opens her eyes and achieves awareness. Yippity-skippity.

The blackout curtains aren't as good as advertised. So what? What has that detail got to do with anything else in the story?

She's in bed with a man whom she neither likes nor loves. In the bathroom, which is about the most interesting thing that's happened so far, she has an internal soliloquy about how many times she's found herself in bed with him. Now there's a bright and shining light for the women's movement. The stereotypical woman who can't make up her mind about a man.

And, when that's all said and done, that scene has zero to do with the rest of the story which is about the apparent disappearance of this woman's younger sister. The first part that has to do with the actual storyline is when the main character walks out of work and finds her father waiting for her. He looks scruffy - not like his usual self, and isn't at work, not like his usual self. That's where the story really starts and all that came before is nothing but styrofoam packing.

This drives me NUTS! The book has the potential to be a much better story - if the opening had to do with the rest of the story.

Honestly, if that first chapter were taken out completely the only one who would notice would be the author. It's a darling, pure and simple.

Further, in the draft that I read, the male characters were no better than stick figures. They were mentioned in off-hand terms and, because of the casualness of how they were handled, they didn't even have enough depth or interest to qualify as cardboard cut-outs. They did not stand up off the plane of the page and "feel" as if they might be real people.

Yet this kind of writing qualifies as "publishable". What makes it "publishable" is, almost exclusively, because it's going to be an e-book and the author self-promoted and got a lot of friends to back it. None of that makes the story good. It was just pushed harder than the others.

Once it hits the shelves, assuming it makes it into print, I doubt it's going to go anywhere. There are just too many flaws, in my opinion. I certainly wouldn't buy it - not based on that first chapter or on most of the rest of it I read. It isn't interesting enough to me, although the premise has potential.

Now I am not saying that mine is better, because I don't know that it is. But I am trying to make it better, to make it more interesting and to make all of my characters, primary and secondary, interesting and better than cardboard. That's why I'm laboring over this so hard. I put the first half of it up on Write On back in September, and I haven't added anything to it in weeks. Primarily because I am rewriting much of it - tightening it up and killing my darlings.

And this, my critique of this other person's story, is why I don't write reviews. I'm too brutal, too demanding from the standpoint of a consumer.

Several months ago when I was participating in a "critique" group, I commented on another person's writing and got blasted for it. In that story, there were so many plot holes I could well have been spelunking through a cave system someplace. I pointed them out, honestly and without much in the way of cushioning because that's how I am - and how I prefer to have my own writing critiqued. That did not go down well.

I heard from another member of the group, privately, and was pretty well told that I was too harsh. Perhaps so, but that message didn't change my opinion. All it did was make me drop out of the group. I can't do squishy reviews. I can't do ambivalent critiques. Not about writing and its quality.

So, now that I've written what I have about this story, which may be recognized by someone reading this post, I'll probably get smacked for saying what I have, but I'm not going to retract this because it's one person's opinion. Mine. And I'm entitled to it.

Now, with that said, I'm going to go back to building my world, to killing my darlings and getting my characters up, standing on their own two feet.

Have a lovely day!

Best~
Philippa

Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/PhilippaStories

On Waiting...

Waiting is hard. I hate waiting.

Waiting while I was pregnant was awful. My daughter was three weeks late and I got to go through that many extra days of aches and misery. Walking was uncomfortable because everything from my waist down was pushed out of shape (she ended up being almost nine pounds – a big first baby). I couldn’t sleep because there was a surgically implanted bowling ball in my belly (that’s how it felt, anyway). At the outset, the doctor had one ‘guess’ for her due date. I said, ‘no, it will be…’ We were both wrong. When she finally deigned to make her appearance, kicking and screaming, I think she actually left fingernail scars along the length of the ‘chute’ as she screamed ‘no-o-o-o-o! I don’t wanna!’ So, yeah, that wasn’t much fun.

This is almost as bad. No bowling ball, no aches, just impatient waiting.

Two weeks ago I submitted part of one of my books to a publishing company. The requirements were three chapters or fifty pages. I went with the fifty pages. I had to write a synopsis – less than 300 words. I did that although, naturally, I second-guessed it as soon as I hit ‘send’. In exchange, they promised to let me know ‘yea’ or ‘nay’ within four weeks and I haven’t heard a word yet. I’m only halfway through the waiting period and it’s hard!

The good news is that I haven’t been told that my submission sucks, that it’s been dismissed. I haven’t been rejected, yet, so maybe they’re looking at it? Maybe they’re debating it? I don’t know. All I know is that I’m waiting. Have they done one pass through all the submissions – it was an open-submission request where writers not represented by agents can submit – and have already notified those who missed because of an error (not submitting per their requirements)? Have they weeded through the second layer – those that looked interesting at first glance and notified them? Are they now in the third stage? Maybe even the final stage? I don’t know. I know they got it. I received an e-mail saying they did. But now, all I know is that I’m waiting with my fingers crossed.

Of course if they ask for a full read, it will have been worth waiting for and I’ll be one happy camper. If they don’t… Yeah. I hate waiting.

Some things are worth waiting for, but I can’t think of what one might be off-hand. Well, on second thought there’s death. Yeah. I can hold off on that one. Indefinitely for the time being since I have no reason just now to welcome it. That’s about it, though.

Oh well, I am going to head into the next two weeks with the assumption that I’ve been denied and will keep going on other things.

I had already decided to self-publish, but that means self-representation, self-marketing, self-everything and that is both expensive and time consuming. It would be easier if I had someone representing me, even if it means that I don’t get 90% of my commissions or royalties. It would be worth it for the first time or two through the mill. Until I build a name and a following. Then I won’t have to spend all my waking hours trying to figure out how to sell more copies of my book.

As for other things, I’m still working on ‘Matters of Friendship’ while, in the background, ‘Genevieve’s Piano’ is starting to stir again. That’s been a while. So long I’m not sure how long.

It got pummeled by the crit group I belong to – justifiably. Mostly little picks but a few bigger ones. A lot of valid points, some I can easily fix, some not so much. But it’s been a while since I read the comments because it was shocking – like a dousing of ice water on a freezing day. I shut down.

Not because I don’t like what I ‘heard’, but because it was so surprising, which it shouldn’t be. It is though. This is my baby, my creation. Of course it’s perfect! Of course it’s the best thing since sliced bread! That’s what I hoped when I subjected it to the group. Then, naturally, reality raises its ugly scaly head.

It’s the third time I’ve been through that particular mill and all three times I’ve ended up shelving the work until the bruises fade and the wounds heal. There is just no getting around it. It is brutal to have ten or twelve of your peers pick apart something you’ve slaved over for a year or more. Even if they approach it kindly, with soft and gentle prompts, it still hurts.

That’s the funny thing about having your stuff read and critiqued. One-on-one it’s easy. With only one person saying ‘I like this, but not that’ the suggestions, nits and ‘no, this doesn’t work’ statements are easier to take. I guess it’s the difference between being beaten up by one person v. a group. It’s easier to dismiss the one but when the group is landing, hard, on the same points… Nope. Harder to walk away from or ignore.

And the funny thing is: I asked for it! I put my book down on the virtual table and said, ‘I’d like you to read this and tell me what you think.’ So to complain about it after the fact is ridiculous. To the point of saying, ‘Here’s a stick, beat me with it,’ and then complaining.

I checked my e-mail again this morning. No word yet so I’m back to waiting. Oh well, la-di-da, c’est la vie.

I need to re-review all of their comments and let them soak in a bit more before I take up the tools again.

Well, while I wait, you have a lovely day!

Best~

Philippa

Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/PhilippaStories

Sunday Morning Drivel

Good morning!  Happy wonderful day!

Sun's coming up (good thing, that). It's looking like it's going to be clear (not so good, considering the drought). We got a little rain on Friday night into Saturday morning - about 0.5 inch if I believe the weather people. The Giants won in Colorado last night. It's shaping up to be a good day!

I have some obligations - my mother-in-law's pill boxes and a few other things, but nothing major. The errands got done yesterday, so today it's all house stuff. The dust is thickening, so I'll take care of that later. Sam, my cat, is feeling needy this morning, so he'll keep me working to settle him down. After that and getting my coffee, I'm looking forward to reading and commenting upon a new book from the Authonomy site.

There's a group of us, the Women's Fiction Critique Group that, every three weeks, does a read of a new book and provides observations, comments and encouragement.  It is the one place on the site where I'm confident that anyone reading my books will not pull any punches whatsoever.

The first time through, I stumbled out the other side, battered, bloodied and bruised, with confidence greatly shaken because the critiques were not soft and fuzzy.  There was one, in particular, that still bothers me more than a year later. "She's a bitch!" and "I hate your MC!" followed by "I can't read any more of this!"  Ouch!  The rest were all mildly to moderately encouraging and all, even the hardest hitting one, had valid points.  It was just a surprise to have my 'masterpiece' so thoroughly trounced. Looking back, not all the points were valid but many were, and it's those I need to take to heart when the time comes to go back to it.

So this is the group to which I will submit my observations on this next book.

I'm torn about the last crit I left.  One of the members came back to me after and said I was too harsh.  Perhaps I was. The deal is, though, that I was dead honest and pulled no punches because, in my view, if someone, anyone is going to put that book up for sale, the purchaser has the right to expect top quality.  This was an early version and, because of gaps in the plot and storyline, there is a lot of work to be done.

There is also the obligation I feel when I do a critique.  I will not say 'this sucks' and leave it at that. That benefits no one - not me, not the writer, not other potential critics. If I'm going to say something bad or negative, I'm going to give chapter and verse on why. It's not fair to anyone to say, 'yeah, this sucks' and leave it at that, so I dont because it's not just the receiver of the crit who sees that there. There are others who follow-on and see the points made. If I'm blunt and decisive, clear and spell things out, perhaps others will benefit.

Do I feel badly? Yes. Obviously since I'm trying to self-justify here. I wasn't happy with my comments before I posted them, and after having my "brutality" confirmed, my comfort level is set squarely at Squirm.

I've been there, had that done to me but, on the other side, for me it was a HUGE wake-up call. What I thought was beautiful and delicate genius was tedious and naive. In the end, despite hurt feelings, a 'why did she say those horrible things?' and a 'why am I doing this?' reaction, my story will be much better and stronger, more real and believable than it was. It will be a better product for a potential reader.

If my critique has the same effect, almost everyone benefits (but I'll still feel uncomfortable when I think of it). Tough love is a good term to use.

I love reading. I love good stories. To me there is nothing worse than picking up a book, paying for it, and realizing partway through that I have wasted my time and money because it's not what I hoped for or expected. To me, that's like the movie that you sit down to watch and discover, 'OMG - what is this!??'.

When I'm done with a story, I want it and the characters to be restlessly pacing at the back of my mind long after the cover is closed for the last time. When a book does that to me, it's a better than average book, and that's what I want to see produced. That's what I want to produce - living characters that catch a reader's mind and imagination, and that is one tough nut to crack but that is what I strive to do in everything I write.

I have received great encouragement from two beta readers whose opinions I value. They are instrumental at the Inca Project site (http://www.incaproject.co.uk/) and both were, from my perspective, wildly encouraging.

'I loved it.' 'I didn't want it to end.' 'Looking for the sequel.' 'A brilliant read.'

Music to a writer's ears! Minor picks - a few typos and editing changes, some repetition, but nothing that little things wouldn't fix. The next step is Create Space where I will enter it into the sweeps and see what happens with it. Probably this summer since I have a few other things to get in order. The cover is done though!  Oh happy day!

Now - I am off to get my coffee, do pills and rid the house of dust dunes.

Best~
Philippa

Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/PhilippaStories
Check out "Lothario & The New Girl" my erotic romance on www.authonomy.com