Whinging, with a "G", which we've lost

The British version of English is a wonderful thing. They have words we don't. They even toss extra letters into their stuff, and it's really neat. Like a recipe for a favorite dish with which you're so familiar you just throw it together without a lot of thought. Then you go someplace and it's there and boom, they've mixed it up. Added a little sumpthin' that kicks you back on your heels and surprises you.

Take the word 'whine'. That's one. Americans say 'whine' and 'would you like a little cheese with that whine' and it's customary and okay.

Then, when I started hanging out with my Brit buds, I started learning new words - really cool words, like 'gobsmacked'.

I love that word. I love that word so well I wish I had more occasions on which it would be appropriate to use. But that one is a Charlotte Russe of a word - only brought out for really special occasions, like Christmas.

Whinge is another one. It means the same thing as 'whine'. Except, with that 'g' tucked in there, I can both see and hear the snot-faced three-year old tugging mummy's skirt because s/he's not getting that whatever it is that they want.

So what's the point of this, other than saying again how well I like words?

Because I'm trying hard not to whinge. It's not nice. It's unpleasant for the listener or hearer or viewer. Yes, it is something we all do from time-to-time, but that doesn't make it okay because, in the final analysis, what does whinging ever do for us? Nothing. Not a thing except, maybe in the right company, get you murmurs of sympathy and commiseration. But those are cold comfort, too.

I was raised in a family where whinging wasn't tolerated. Nothing momentous would happen to the whinger. There was no punishment, no 'oh shut it, will you?'. It was just ignored or, if it went on long enough to be really annoying, a firm declaration of 'then do something about it'. And there is the crux of it.

If you can do something about it, you use precious time and energy whinging about it. Of course, it could be a double-team effort. You whinge while you work - a working whinge if you will. But that really doesn't accomplish much because if you're solving the problem about which you're complaining, you soon won't have anything about which to complain.

If you can't do anything about it, what's the point of whinging? You're not accomplishing anything. It's beyond your control. All you're doing is irritating those around you. Particularly if it's anything more than a brief outburst. Like, "God! I hate that!!" Pithy, general, non-specific so listeners, unless it's obvious, won't see or know what you hate, but it's pithy and that's pretty good.

And here we are. After spiraling in on that point, I'm at the heart of it. The reason behind all that above. Headlights. Or, more specifically, fucking morons without a lick of sense or consideration for other drivers who don't know how to operate the bloody things.

Can you tell this is a hot button? Does that term 'fucking moron' show it? Well, it's precisely how I feel.

Now that it's winter again, with the short days and longer nights, I'm commuting home in the evening in the dark. I drive along narrow, two-lane roads that twist and wind and have deer and raccoons and skunks lurking in the underbrush, waiting to pounce as I drive by. Nobody (me) wants to run down Bambi or Flower or Rocky*, so we all turn our high beams on so we can see what lies ahead. The concept there is that there is actually a switch - a toggle - that allows drivers to switch between low beams and high beams.

When the way is clear, with no oncoming vehicles, you turn on the high beams. When another car approaches, you turn them down at the point at which you think those beams will become annoying and dangerous. Then, when your car passes theirs, you turn them up again - assuming there's not another car coming.

The problem is, there are a whole lot of fucking morons (FM) out there who will not turn down their high beams when they approach another car. They leave them on - blinding the other driver (me) - and making the process of passing one another far more dangerous than it already is by nature. Worse is the FM who gets behind you, close enough to ensure they'll get your phone number if Bambi or Flower or Rocky does leap in front of your car, and leaves their high beams on.

I have been known to get so annoyed that I adjust my rear view mirror so that their irritating headlight beams get directed right back into their eyes, but that's dangerous, too. Done right, it does get them to back off fairly quickly and then I readjust the rear view to a normal position. That tactic is is used only on occasions where I don't think it's overly dangerous. I won't do it on the windy back roads I now drive, which makes my frustration that much greater. Now I just tilt the rear view all the way up, pointing at the headliner, but that doesn't solve the glare from the side mirrors.

Perhaps it's the technology. Perhaps the headlights themselves have gotten brighter and the lights are on low, but I'll tell you, it is annoying as can be to be driving along a windy two-lane road and not be able to see where I'm going because some FM is coming toward me with lights so bright they blind me, or the idiot who's sitting on my tail who will end up in the back of my car if I do have to brake for Bambi or Flower or Rocky.

So there's the whinge which, as almost always, doesn't change anything.

But this is "fixable". I do have choices. I can spend the next five months dealing with this every night - getting to work at about the same time I've been every day and leaving at about the same time every evening, and fighting the bright lights and being annoyed and tempted to give as good as I get. Or, I can hie myself out of the house earlier. Get to work at seven o'clock in the morning and work until four o'clock and be home around twilight - before the headlights are all the way on.

That would require negotiation on the work front, but it's do-able. Then, next spring, I would go back to the seven-thirty / eight to four-thirty / five o'clock time frame. Or not, depending on how things shake out.

Of course, that means I actually have to hie myself. Negotiate and get buy-in from those who might care. Get up, get moving, not have as much or any time to write or drink coffee or just chill. Hmm. Takes some thought, but it is an option to be considered and debated and, perhaps, acted upon.

Anyway, back to that * I plugged in there earlier - Rocky is in reference to a Beatles song, Rocky Raccoon.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nktOEkrAD8

Now, with that out of my system, I hope you have a bright sunny day with no annoyances!

Best~
Philippa

Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/PhilippaStories

Isn't it Annoying?

Fair warning: A Rant Will Follow. Just so you're prepared.

Today I was sitting at my desk, working and listening to my radio, which is about eighteen inches from my ear, when some guy pulls up outside - probably twenty feet away, with his stereo pounding. It's so loud, and the bass line is so strong, it drowns out the music I chose to listen to.

While he ran into the little tienda (market) next to where I work, he left the stupid thing blaring - because he didn't want to miss a beat. In the meantime, he's inflicting his noise on everyone else. And he's not alone. It happens at least two or three times a week, with different people.

Why do people do this? Are they just "idiots" (feel free to substitute a pejorative of your choice because I'm being polite) or didn't their mothers teach them manners or consideration for others?

It happens all the time and it really gets on my nerves.

There's another young "stud" who lives around here. This is a mixed use area of Calistoga (about 80% of Calistoga is mixed use) so there are homes mixed with businesses along our street.

Every day, at least twice a day, he gets in his cheap little import car and tries to impress "everyone" by gunning the engine and roaring off down the street. Why? Doesn't he realize there are little kids who live in this neighborhood? Who's he trying to impress, anyway? All he's doing is looking stupid, but apparently he doesn't get that the only one he's impressing is himself. What scares me is that some little kid is going to dart out in front of him and...

I don't want to be around here if that happens.

Another thing that gets on my nerves are stupid people doing stupid things because they're too stupid to plan their time and end up being late, and pretending it's everyone else's fault.

For instance, I was driving up the freeway to work this morning. Along that stretch of road is an HOV lane at the center divide, two regular lanes and an exit lane. I was in lane two (next to the HOV lane) and there was a school bus just ahead of me in lane number three (between me and the exit lane). We're hustling along in moderate traffic, doing about sixty, when this little red car comes zipping up from nowhere. He roars up to the school bus - no more than fifteen feet away from the rear bumper, slams on his brakes and comes within five feet of the back bumper before he swerves around the bus into the exit lane, almost hitting a car that was already taking up space.

Why? Why is that idiot putting everyone else at risk?

Let's say he had misjudged and clipped the bus. That would have sent his car into the wall that edges the exit lane and at least one car would have smashed into him while others would have swerved to miss that wreck. Those swerving cars could well have hit other cars. The bus would have swerved into my lane, no doubt hitting me given our relative positions. On top of running into the side of the bus that was suddenly in my lane, I would have been rear-ended and... for what? Because some moron can't plan his time and is late for something?

Now I will confess, I have done stupid things in my time. I am not without fault, but I have never, to my knowledge, done something that puts someone else at serious risk. If I'm late, I do not drive recklessly to make up the time I wasted. If I'm late it's because I'm late. It is not the fault of the guy ahead of me, so I'm not going to go into Road-Rage Mode and act like a moron. I'll accept the consequence of being late and not put anyone else at risk.

I also do not drive around with my windows down and my stereo blasting - unless I'm on an open country road where I'll be irritating the cows and wildlife but where I'm not going to be irritating the next guy. If I want to listen to something at increased volume, I either keep the windows closed and turn it up to where I want it or I wait until I get home and Google it on YouTube in the privacy of my own home. It's a matter of courtesy.

Maybe that's what our schools should teach. Classes in comportment and citizenship - the Golden Rule (which, by the way, can be found in your local bible). Do unto others as you would have them do unto you - aka respect your neighbor and treat them as you would like to be treated. It's such a simple concept and, if it's practiced, it's easy to do.

Okay. I'm still annoyed by the idiots but I'll start breathing again and get over it. Someday. Maybe.

Hope you have a peaceful day without idiots.

Best~
Philippa

Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/PhilippaStories