Did Anyone Get the Number of that Truck?

That's how I feel the day after, and I didn't even get drunk. Geez Louise! Stiff neck, stiff back, achy and that peculiar not-quite-all-there feeling.

Yesterday started with waking up at 0300 and not being able to get back to sleep. Not a good start to a day I fully expected would last until about 0100 Saturday morning. But I tried and failed and finally threw in the towel and got up, resigned to a long day.

Overall, last night was about what I expected it would be. Not entirely what I expected, but close.

Regarding the antlers that I was going to wear as my icebreaker, I was highly disappointed. After running through three stores and talking to two sales associates I wasn't able to procure my antlers. That was disappointing. Even the store that said online they had them didn't by the time I got there. Being disappointed and unwilling to walk away empty handed, I settled for blue and silver garland.

Have you ever tried to wear garland? Don't. It's itchy as hell. So I didn't wear it but am now the proud owner of twelve feet of (without the tag):

That should have been a clue to how the rest of the evening would go, because it didn't start the way I wanted it to. In any case, the party got set up, the tables looked beautiful with a bluish-greenish tulle as runners and square hurricane vases filled with Christmas bulbs - the stupid crafty things I worked on last week. When it was all over and we were cleaning up, I don't think more than a couple of people took one home with them judging by how many were left, but I digress (and that comes later).

I went upstairs with two of the other ladies - party animals both - and changed from work clothes to my evening wear. The same dress I wore for Daughter's wedding (which would have looked fabulous with the garland if the garland didn't itch so much).

Not wanting to carry a purse and not having pockets, I decided to wear my jeans under my (floorlength) skirt. Pockets for my car key, driver's license and credit card made it convenient and worthwhile. Most people had no clue until I hiked my skirt up to get at my credit card to pay for my after dinner drink. As a joke, I did share my "secret" with a few people beforehand - a few that I trust and know well enough to hike my skirt up in front of (only to knee level, I swear!). They thought it was funny, but I digress.

Downstairs again after dressing, the company meeting was held and we all gathered to listen. Afterward, free to go enjoy the party, we streamed from the room, heading for the bar. I had no cash and had heard that the drinks were wildly expensive (yes, they were - but that comes later, too) so I hung out along the wall. Just as I had expected. Everyone was moving and mingling, chatting and I stood there like some stupid potted plant. The people I know were speaking to other people I don't know and I'm not comfortable sidling up, hanging around on the fringe and feeling like an eavesdropping interloper. All of that same stuff I wrote about a while back.

So I stood there until I was uncomfortable enough that I went into the ballroom to see if there was something useful to do. There was and I helped with the final touches for the party, organizing the door prize bags into which the tickets would go. With that done, though, I was back to standing by the wall like some stupid potted plant.

Ten minutes too many of that, and I was done. "I'm outta here. I didn't come here to do this. I'm not going to stand here for another forty-five minutes until dinner. Blah, blah blah-de-blah blah." All the internal dialogue you might imagine. Up the stairs, muttering as I went because I had left my jacket in the hotel room where we had changed (everything else had already made it to the car - just the goddamned jacket kept me from wandering down the hall and out the side door to climb behind the wheel and head home. Stupid jacket...).

Halfway along the hall I met with the ladies whose room I had used to change, in which resided my jacket. It was a short conversation followed by a Bacardi shot. I haven't done shots in nearly twenty-five years, and then I only did one. Like last night. But the ladies are a force to be reckoned with and I capitulated. I did take my jacket out to the car because I still wasn't convinced I was going to stay, but did promise to try.

Downstairs again I tagged along - the perfect fifth wheel, a useless appendage. The good news came when someone asked, "Aren't you drinking?" (The tone of surprise when a normal adult is confronted by a teetotaler at a party.) "I didn't bring any cash." "Oh! But the wine is free." Well, hell! I'm up for that. At least it gives my hands something to do.

A glass of wine and wandering, still feeling like an old shoe covered in dog leavings because everyone was still talking with everyone else and I was still feeling like a useless appendage.

I made it through the reception, although leaving was still a front and present thought (I hate events like this, I really really truly do). Dinner was called and I do thank goodness for hand-holding buds! I was wandering again when one of the directors called me to her table, and our receptionist came along and invited me to the same table and I felt somewhat welcome again. Our EVP of Marketing and another director were there, people I work fairly closely with and who I know, so it was good.

Dinner was delicious and followed by service award announcements, a door prize giveaway (I brought home a new crock pot!), all the stuff that makes up events like these.

For dessert I decided to treat myself and went out to the bar where I bought a whiskey and soda (it was bourbon, not whiskey, but it was the best I could do given the selection). That was expensive - $10.50 for a shot of whiskey thinned with a lot of soda. I lucked out, though. The bartender was a little heavy-handed with the bottle and poured more than she intended. I know this because she said, "Oops! I got a little carried away." A flashed smile and, "But I'm sure you don't mind." No. I can't say that I did.

Back inside, the dancing was getting started and I let my hair down a little.

I haven't been on a dance floor since the 1980's. I've never had the opportunity or been in a place with a dance floor, and it was just like that four-year old dance recital I wrote about the other day. Our HR director organized a line dance and a bunch of us tried to follow along. Most people got it after the third iteration. I didn't. Most people went left when they were supposed to. I didn't. Ditto with right and back and front and... You get the picture. My drummer was working overtime sending me in my own way. But it was fun.

The crowd started thinning by about eight-thirty and was sparse by ten-thirty (THANK GOD!). We started clearing up and the party that was supposed to end at midnight was over by eleven o'clock - THANK GOD!!

The hurricane vases went back in their boxes. We gathered up all of the stupid crafty bulbs and, as mentioned, I think about 80% of them will show up at work on Monday morning. But that's okay. Scrape the glitter glue off, or rework the number from 2015 to 2016 and they can be used one more time. Loaded everything into our HR Assistant's car and I was free!

I was home at eleven thirty - not even slightly tipsy - and in bed before midnight. Then, this morning, the alarm woke me at six. That was too early after a long twenty-one hour day and night. But I had committed to myself and to Daughter to deliver the carload of furniture I've been trying to get to her for three weeks, so I hauled myself out of bed, out the door at seven and spent five hours on my mission.

Back at home and I collapsed into bed, just waking up at three o'clock to start this.

So the party is in the bag and, looking back, it was just okay. The company was good, but the noise level was much too high for conversation. Remarks and exchanges had to be shouted and were almost inevitably followed by "WHAT??" and a closer lean. Not my idea of an ideal.

Will I go again next year? Probably not. The wallflower / potted plant experience is what sticks out the most. I would have enjoyed myself more if the focus hadn't been so heavy on the noise and thunder. A few decibels (about twenty) lower to allow for easier conversation would have been nice because not everyone wanted to dance but couldn't converse. I would have been happier to have a mix of both, so it's an experience with a chalk mark (I'll chalk it up to...).

As of this afternoon, body and brain feel better connected than this morning. I'm grateful for not having a hangover - despite that Bacardi shot, two glasses of wine (before and during dinner) and my dessert whiskey. Today I got a two hour nap, so I don't feel so icky. I have a new crock pot that I can play with. I'm thinking stews and soups and maybe some other things if I can find good recipes.

All-in-all, it was okay. Not terrible, as I'd expected, but not fantastic either, but that's me.

Looking at the overall event, I think most other people had a great time, woke up with hangovers but memories of a good evening. And that's really what matters in the end. That was the point of it - to say 'thank you' to everyone for their hard work all year, to give people a chance to let down their hair and unwind in a venue other than work. So it was a success and we'll leave it at that.

I hope your holiday season is more enjoyable than my experience last evening - let your hair down and dance, baby, dance.

Best~
Philippa

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The Beginning of Success

Oh, frabjous day! A month ago I decided, firmly, to do something about my weight. Then I had my confrontation with flax. Flax won, temporarily, but now I’m back on track. Last weekend I finally sucked it up, gathered my courage and stepped on the scale. Surprise! It wasn’t as bad as I expected. It also set the bar – the benchmark of my starting point and told me how far I have to go to get to where I want to be.

Today I stepped on the scale again, after a week of ‘being careful’ and watching what I eat, denying sometimes (not as often as I should). Four pounds – one tenth of my goal – is gone. Yay, me!

I have a long way to go, and there will undoubtedly be ups and downs, times when I do better than others. It’s a start though, a good one. It’s also the downhill portion because it was mostly water so now starts the *ahem* heavy lifting.

Yeah, yeah. I know this is boring, no one but me cares, but it’s important to me so, because this is my blog, I’m going to crow about my successes.

As I said in a previous post, I’ve been here, done this diet / weight loss thing before. I know what’s required. It takes discipline and I know from hard experience that denial is a death knell for any diet.

When I was in high school, where my weight problem started, I would get home from school and make toast. Not just a slice or two. It was usually four or five slices, slathered in butter. It was like my gateway drug. From there I expanded to bags of chips. Not little bags, big ones, and cans of premade frosting.

Thinking of that stuff now it makes me sick, but that was how I got started. Then, when I was seventeen, I started to change how I eat, and I lost the weight. Then I got married and the yo-yo started.

Within a year after our wedding, the Fates delivered their twenty pound wedding gift to my belly, hips and thighs. To get rid of it, I tried a ‘fad’ diet. It was the early 80s and the diet du jour was the Cambridge Diet, a powder that you mixed with water and drank.

You were ‘allowed’ to eat celery and then one ‘good’ meal per day. In other words, not enough to keep an emaciated rabbit alive and, because I had nothing in me, I ended up with massive stomach pains. That time I went to the ER and the doc was like, ‘Duh!’

That was all I needed to teach me that fad diets are probably a bad idea. Won’t do ‘em, won’t pay for food separate and apart from what the family is eating because, undoubtedly, I would end up looking longingly at the other plate, thinking how unfair life is.

So I cook for myself. I like to cook, but I don’t like to spend hours in the kitchen and I certainly don’t want things that use a gazillion pots, pans, or utensils. Cleaning up is the worst part of it. Prep is only slightly behind cleaning, so I want things that are quick and easy, tasty but simple. One pan, maybe two and I make things for breakfast and lunch that I like, things that are reasonable in calories and fit my requirements. For dinner I typically eat what the family eats and, after years of struggle, have made it clear that I prefer to serve myself.

For two decades my husband served everyone – he is the cook, he deemed it his right. Since he’s a guy, he always served more than this gal needed or wanted but, dutifully, because I had been taught as a kid: if it’s on your plate, you eat it because of starving children in China. One day I decided ‘this is really stupid’. I said, ‘no thanks, I’ll serve myself.’ We argued, more than a few times over more than a couple of years, but I eventually won. Now I serve myself – small portions. Not necessarily as small as they should be, but smaller than if he portioned it out.

One of my favorite movie lines – and I only saw the trailer, not the movie – was a family sitting around the dinner table. Skinny sister looks at ‘fat’ sister and says something along the lines of, ‘who’s holding a gun to your head to make you put that into your mouth?’ Too true! So it’s on me and I have it pretty much under control.

This week’s lunch menu is pork roast, roasted Brussels sprouts with garlic, sautéed mushrooms with bell peppers, and rice. In case anyone is interested, here’s my recipe for sautéed mushrooms and bell peppers. Try it, maybe next time you’re having company so if you don’t like it you’re not stuck with a bunch of it. Or you can make less, if you’d like, but I make this and then keep the extras in the fridge to be rewarmed to have it with my meat, over rice, inside a warm tortilla or on pizza.

Sauteed Bell Peppers and Mushrooms

Three or four bell peppers, seeded and sliced into strips

One pound mushrooms, washed and trimmed, then sliced

Optional: Thin sliced scallion

Optional: Black pitted olives, sliced

Butter

Good quality balsamic vinegar (can substitute Worcestershire Sauce)

White pepper

Melt a small amount of butter, enough to coat the bottom of a large pan. Sauté the mushroom slices, cooking them until they are golden brown or darker (depending on preference). If needed, cook in batches. Use a slotted spoon to remove the mushrooms from the pan, leaving the liquor. Put them in a glass bowl large enough to hold all of the mushrooms and peppers, once they’re cooked. To the pan, add the sliced bell pepper in batches, without crowding, add more butter if needed. Sauté until cooked through but still firm (you should be able to cut one in half with the edge of a spoon without too much effort). As each batch is done, move them to the bowl with the mushrooms.

After the last batch is cooked, put all of it back in the pan. Add, if desired, the sliced scallion and sliced olives and reheat. Sprinkle with white pepper to taste and splash with vinegar, to taste. Reheat for about two minutes, to take the ‘edge’ off the pepper, stirring frequently.

Once the veggies are cooked, remove them from the pan leaving the juices. Continue cooking the juices down, until it thickens. This is where the salt will really come out, so you don't need to add any - you're concentrating whatever was already there from the vinegar, the olives (if you added them). When you're satisfied with the consistency, pour the liquor over the veggies, toss and serve. Or refrigerate to use later.

* * * * * *

Yes – I know the butter is ‘bad’ for you, but if you try to use cooking spray or olive oil, it’s not going to taste as good. They’ll be slimy for one thing (I’ve tried it). Just use a little – just enough to keep the ‘shrooms from sticking and keep stirring until they give up their water (and, believe it or not, mushrooms have a lot of water in them). Use the butter judiciously.

Another favorite of mine is roasted Brussels sprouts. The recipes I’ve found say ‘use a pound’ or some defined quantity. Nah. I buy two pound bags of them from Costco and use however many will fit in the roasting pan. I use a big roasting pan, so it’s usually the whole bag. If they're big and the pan won't hold all of them, I put whatever is left into a Ziplock bag, squeeze the air out and put them into the veggie bin in the fridge. They'll keep for a couple of weeks.

For roasting, though, the keys are to get ‘em all in in one layer, and to leave a little room so you can stir them and they’ll actually cook.

Roasted Brussels Sprouts

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

One or two pounds of Brussels sprouts or however many will fit in the pan (see above)

Olive oil - get the good kind, it's worth it

One head garlic, peeled and cloves separated (you don't need to trim them - the cooking will soften them enough that they're edible by the time it's all over)

Optional: one medium sized sweet onion, chunked*

Balsamic vinegar

White pepper

*Chunked – it’s what I call it. There’s minced and chopped, we all know what those are. Chunked is when you cut the onion in half, then in quarters, then cut it until you have big chunks, like eighths or ‘steenths. It’s bigger than chopped so it’s chunked.

If the Brussel sprouts aren’t already trimmed (stems), trim them. Wash them in any order – before, after, I don’t think it matters. I usually do it after because I think the water helps steam them. If you feel inclined, you can slice them down the middle. I never do because it’s too much trouble and they cook just fine.

Put a little olive oil into the bottom of the roasting pan. Add the sprouts and sprinkle the peeled garlic cloves around the pan, among the sprouts. If you're adding the onion, do that. Stir it all up to coat the veggies with the oil.

Splash with balsamic vinegar and sprinkle with a little white pepper.

Now, recipes call for salt. I never use salt. The vinegar has salt. There’s naturally occurring salt in the sprouts and onion. I don’t think the salt adds anything but if you’re a salt-o-holic, knock yourself out and have at it.

Put the pan in the oven and set the timer for 30 minutes. At 30 minutes check on them. Stir them, turn them over, and see how they’re doing. Put them back for as long as you think they might need – 10 minutes, 15, 20, use your judgement.

When they’re done, take them out and let them relax in the pan for a few minutes. They’ll keep cooking until you take them out of the pan or until they get cold (whichever comes first – that’s my disclaimer), but that’s okay.

Once you serve them, they will be sweet and just a little mildly ‘sprouty’ – not overwhelming. They make a great side with pork or lamb or beef. The best part is the next day. Once they’ve chilled they will sweeten up – all the natural sugar will come to the fore and it’s like eating candy.

So that’s going to be the secret to my ultimate success: lots of vegetable dishes that are quick, easy and delicious, along with protein – mostly chicken and pork. I’ll have some bread but not a lot, and won’t deny myself much of anything so I don’t get frustrated.

Now, I’m off to get cooking and I hope you have a lovely Fourth of July!

Best~

Philippa

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